My 8 year old daughter takes ballet, and this year is her first year being in “The Nutcracker”. She has been really excited about it and up until now, she never seemed to have any problems with the director (who has been teaching her and the other girls their dances) and liked going to rehearsals. Yesterday afternoon, she had the first big rehearsal- meaning it was at a bigger studio, and the entire cast was there so that they could run through the whole show.
Anyway, one of my daughter’s roles in the show is a toy soldier. Apparently, the girls in this part are supposed to hold fake swords while they dance. According to my daughter, they never actually practiced with the swords until yesterday because in the smaller studio that she normally goes to, they don’t have all of the props. So yesterday was their first time using the swords. But anyway, when I picked my daughter up from the rehearsal she was awfully quiet and seemed really upset. She had been fine when I dropped her off, so I asked her if anything was wrong and if something happened at the rehearsal. Well, basically, the director yelled at my daughter and embarrassed her in front of all of the 100 or so people in the cast who were there at the rehearsal, watching. Apparently my daughter wasn’t holding her sword the correct way, and she said that the director stopped the music and yelled across the room, “WHY ARE YOU HOLDING IT LIKE THAT?”. She then sent another teacher over to her to show her the correct way, but snapped at her to do it the way the teacher showed her. My daughter was so upset about this and almost started crying, and said that she was so embarrassed that all these people were watching when this happened. I am sure that she isn’t exaggerating, because she isn’t that type of kid. And she’s been taking ballet for 3 years and is used to being corrected if she makes a mistake, so she wouldn’t be upset if a teacher simply corrected her. But this woman yelled at her in front of everyone just for not holding the sword correctly when she hadn’t even done it before. I think she could have been nicer to an 8 year old dancing in her very first Nutcracker! I took my daughter out to dinner to her favorite place to cheer her up afterwards. She seemed to feel a little better after that, but she is still saying that she doesn’t want to go to the next rehearsal and see the other girls in her dance again because they all saw what happened and she’s still embarrassed. I just told her that I’m sure they’ve all forgotten by now and they won’t care or remember when they see her again. Should I speak with the director about this? Of course I would understand her correcting my daughter if she wasn’t doing something right, but I feel that the way she went about it was not appropriate at all!
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dance teachers do make mistakes...especially when under stress to get a performance together. i'd calmly and politely let the director know, privately and in person, before the next rehearsal.
however, i would not tell your daughter you did so. as the last thing you want to do is upset her further. after speaking with the director, if everything goes well (and i'm sure it will), tell your daughter that the director commented on how *well* she's doing...that should help her gain her confidence back.
Yeah, I definitely would. You are right, the way the teacher went about correcting your daughter was totally inappropriate, especially since she's only a kid! If your daughter was holding the sword incorrectly, the teacher easily could have pulled her aside afterwards and showed her how to do it, or at least could have sent someone over to show her without stopping the music and yelling across the room at her, making her the center of attention. But don't be too accusing or rude, because you don't want to make things worse for your daughter. Just tell her to not yell at your daughter again, and that if your daughter does something incorrectly, speak to her in private about it. Let her know how upset and embarrassed your daughter is and tell her that is not the way to treat a kid.
I think you should mention it nicely to the director. Say you know they have the right to correct your daughter and your daughter understands that she just felt really embarrassed because he/she yelled at her in front of everyone". She's only 8, there was no reason for yelling at her, it would be more effective if she just got told how to hold the sword.
You definitely should have a word with that director, but be civil and polite about it. If your daughter decides she still wants to do the show you don't want the director having a problem with your daughter because you were rude to them. Make sure you get your point across that the way they treated your daughter upset and embarrassed her and you don't want her to have to feel like that again. That's what I would do if this was my daughter. I hope this helps.
I'm going to be the odd one out on this one.
Some people are jerks and part of growing up is learning that (1) some people are jerks and they will be jerky to you and (2) you can't actually die from embarrassment. Your daughter needs to shake it off and move on.
If this was her regular teacher, I would bring it up as a "for future reference" sort of thing, but if I'm understanding correctly, it's the director of this show.
Have you seen the new documentary about how girls in ballet are harshly judged by their classmates and their instructors? its an intense documentary about what ballet girls go through to impress the audience or instructor. I can understand how it made her feel embarrassed in front of the class, maybe the teacher just had a bad day or she might have worked with older girls at one time and hasnt adjusted to the younger kids yet? IDK but if your daughter is really taking it that bad then have a talk with the teacher and let her know you dont appreciate it.
I would address it. I would tell the Director I understand the high stress involved, but to understand my daughters stress level as well, and to please correct her in a less intrusive manner. Then to be nice, I would say, I understand she is having difficulty with the sword.. is there anything i can be doing at home to help her rehearse?
Im 12 yeqars old and have been dancing for 10 years. and my advice is to tell her to show the teacher what she is made of. ndont show up on time show up early! Be the first person in the room be the best!.
But go ahead and tell the teacher that she was really upset and they need to learn to say what they need to say in a nicer way
I would speak to the director and tell them that she was really upset, that she was also embaressed and not to do it in front of people.
I would!! Dance is supposed to be fun at her age! I would talk directly to this so called "director", and if she doesnt like it -- touch cookies! Your paying for them to teach - not chastise or torment!