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I do not post my age or relationship status on Yahoo Answers. Suffice to say my age and experience is more than enough to answer this question.

Answer: In life, you cannot control other people's actions. You can only control your reaction to them. You can work with your fiance to come up with ways in which the difficulties with them are minimized. One way would be to ask her to avoid allowing them into your personal affairs as much as possible and you will compromise by spending a certain amount of time with them. On holidays you could go to their house in order that it is easier to cut out early. Try to understand where they are coming from and keep in mind that they are the ones who raised the person you find special enough to marry. They clearly did something right.

I do have to say though, if you are considering breaking things off for this reason, you may want to reconsider your feelings for. One should not marry unless they could not envision their life without their partner no matter the circumstances.

I'm 26 years old and just got married in May. I have a baby on the way in November, so I am kind of tied to my in laws whether I like it or not. I love the in laws that I have met so far (husband has a really large family and they all live states away). But his mom can be a little overbearing at times. I can understand where you are coming from, but a group of people that you don't have to spend significant amounts of time with should not deter you from marrying someone you love. You have already made a commitment to marry her and I suggest you have a better reason to call it off than this. I know that you say that you have already talked to your fiance, but maybe you can suggest that the two of you talk to your future in laws together. They need to know where you stand and you need to know where they stand. Surely you all can find some form of common ground. People can be very frustrating, but that's part of life. And most people don't like their in laws any way. Also, may I recommend some pre marital counseling? Even if you think your relationship is good and strong. I wish I had gotten some counseling with my husband before we were married. I love him and couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else but I think we both could have been a little more prepared for what the rest of our lives together would entail had we gone through relationship counseling before we were married. In the end, it is your relationship with her that matters and not your relationship with anyone else. She also needs to be mindful of the fact that you will be her family when you exchange vows and her now immediate family will become her extended family. So in other words, she needs to make sure that her family has respect for you as her husband and future father of her children.

I was engaged once (obviously it didn't work out by the past tense) and planned to marry her. I could not stand her parents. They were down right miserable and mean people. It wasn't the reason I broke up with her, but when I was weighing the pros and the cons, that came into play.

Now I also work with a girl who has an extremely controlling mother in law. She controls everyone in the family. My worker has given up everything to be with her mate. But the problem is my co-worker is under scrutiny for everything she does. In this case, I would blame her hubby because he is a momma's boy that doesn't stand up for his wife.

All this being said, I take the stance that you should never pick a fight with, or bad talk an in-law. But, if they are being downright nasty to you, they are more than likely cowards that will not hold eye contact for long. I would be the sligtest of stern looks would say you had enough.

I've remarried (mid 40's), and my first marriage had some things a little similar to what you stated. I never had a problem with my in laws, but my wife was very close to her family...in fact, too close for my liking. They knew everything that went on, and that was from what my wife was telling them. If your fiance can keep them out of your business, then things may work out.

Discuss setting boundaries with your fiancee before you decide. She seems aware of the way her family is. If you negotiate something you can deal with before you commit to her that should help.

I have huge issue with my in laws and have tried for years to work things out. When I couldn't take it any more and announced to my husband I would have nothing to do with them because of their behavior he broke down and talked to them about it. I still only see them very rarely but they are on their best behavior when I am there. If that was not the case I would not even attend Christmas and often still beg off Thanksgiving.

You can let your fiancee spend the time she wants to with her family; you need not be there. That's how we have learned to deal with it. We're in our fourties and have been married 26 years.

Look at it this way. Her parents are still married. Chances are got your fiance learned marriage related things from her mother and not how to take the husband to the cleaners in divorce court.

When we got married, neither set of parents approved. We were both 25 yrs old, same race, same religion, both had masters degrees, both had good jobs. Most parents would have been delighted. My parents have not spoken to us since the wedding, 45YEARS AGO. Her parents yelled at us and fought at us till the day they died. Our siblings approved and are a part of our lives. We were just united together against their disapproval. If her parents were over to our house and started in on us, we told them to leave. At their house, we just got up and left, one time during Thanksgiving Dinner. The solution was to be united in our stand. We have been very happy together, still love each other very much. And she still makes me laugh. If we had it to do all over again, we would do it all over again.

If you can be united together then you can make it work. If not, then leave her now.

One of the reasons I am divorced (after 17 years). It may seem harsh, but break it off now. You cannot change anyone else. The only time this works is if your spouse truly is different than their upbringing & if you put up strong boundaries & geographical distance between yourself & the in-laws.

Be aware that your spouse is a product of that bunch, they may devolve over time to be exactly the same. Nuff Said?

Older UK man here - not married

If you have to see them once a year at Xmas, I am sure you could manage that - these are your wife's/g/f's parents. Just be pleasant to them - even if they are not to you. Be a man and dignified about it.

Or are you looking for a way out?

i honestly don't know what kinda advice to give you my bf's parents drive me nuts as well but your gonna have to spend the rest of your life with these people so if you hate them that much i would break it off.