I’ve been hanging out with this girl for close to a year. We do everything together. Things couples do. But her family is strict on no dating. They are religious and it goes from best friends to engaged. We talk daily and see each other 5-6 days a week. Here’s the thing. She says she loves me but not like I love her. She knows I’m into her and want to get to the marriage part. But she can’t see it. She knows she loves me. She knows she sees qualities in me that would make a great husband. But for some reason she “doesn’t see me that way” right now. I know there are legit cases of women who simply aren’t attracted to the man for a while after the chase and don’t see them that way. She even has tried to trick herself into thinking of me like that but it doesn’t work. She wants it to work but her mind/heart just isn’t on the same page right now.
My question is. Any ideas on what she or I can do to get her there? She wants to get there and she already sees my good qualities. I’m not gonna lie, I am a good looking guy so I don’t understand her not being attracted to me personally. But we both would take any and all suggestions to get her there. And physical things like kissing isn’t an option because of the religious stuff with her family. Please help
Answers & Comments
You can't invent attraction. Someone either feels it, or they don't. It's not going to change. But fortunately for you, some girls do settle
All you can do is make a decision, soon.
Accept things as they are now with the hope that it will change one of these days. OR
Move on, and put it down to experience
You can't "get her there". She is trying to tell you that its not going to happen. Accept her wishes and find someone else.
You do not mention your ages so it is hard to answer you exactly. If kissing isn't an option due to her family then I would just accept friendship with her and not date her. It could be that her family is really that strict or it could be an excuse to keep you at bay. Is this what she told you or them? Ask them for permission to date her is my advice to you. If they say yes, then it is more her than them. If they say no then move on and just keep her as a friend. I sense she is not being totally honest so ask them and by their answers make your decision. Good luck!
So you are stuck in a rut that she likes and you don't. I suggest (and it will be hard for you) that you have a break from each other. I mean a totally clean break with no contact whatever. No texts or calls or visits or chats. Disappear from her life completely. If she wants you, she will reach out. If she doesn't, she won't. Hanging out for a year is NO reason to marry. You hardly know each other. Going out on dates where you are alone etc is the way to see if you are compatible. You have decided FAR too early that she's the one you wish to be with forever. That sounds a bit needy to me and perhaps those vibes are what's putting her off. You need to be 'going out' with each other (alone, away from the family eyes) for a good 3 years before you talk about marriage seriously.