"There’s a school of thought, that parents should not criticize their children." Agree or disagree?
"There’s a school of thought, that parents should not criticize their children. They should encourage them instead. You know people rise to other people’s expectations. And when you criticize, it means you’re expecting failure."
Agree or disagree?
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Children should be encouraged. And they should be discouraged from doing incorrect things. Constructive criticism is done with love and by someone who the child knows loves him and wants the best for him. Constructive criticism is done with tact and gives choices of better behavior rather than belittling the child. You criticize the behavior, not the child.
That's a theory that's easily misunderstood. To not citicize does not mean to not correct or offer positive critique on a child's performance.
What is considered counter-productive is to criticize the CHILD, vs offering positive critique of the child's performance or behavior, towatd correcting error and encouraging toward a more correct or acceptable behavior or performance.
The ctiticism that does harm is that given out of the adult's own frustration or anger rather than anything that actually relates to the child's efforts or behaviors.
An example of negative critisim: "You're not finished with that homework YET??? Let me look at that!! Oh, god, what's the MATTER with you? This (the child's effot at the work) is stupid! Just plain stupid!"
A more positive response: "Still working on that? You look like you're struggling with some of it. Here, let me see if I can help. Ok, here, let me show you where you are missing it. Hey, I had a hard time getting in math, too! Ok, now, see where this ....etc etc etc
That depends entirely on the specific situation and how the criticism is presented. Children must have some criticism so they don't grow up to be spoiled brats with no sense of responsibility, but if it is done sparingly in a loving kind way, then it's beneficial.
Cause and effect. The criticism of children makes the child think they aren't good enough. The criticism of the behavior, on the other hand, is totally exceptional. My mother once told me, "I don't you, I hate the things you do." See the relation?
Agree
I think that is depends on what is going on.
Criticizing a grown up adult for no real reason (about their stuff, how they decorate their house, their car, how they are raising their kids, about their major in college etc) is wrong.
Critcizing an adult or child for being a slut, doing anything illegal, and what not is to be expected.
Discipline? Yes. Criticize? Hell no. Criticism and negative reinforcement can seriously damage a young person's psyche and self esteem. Hell, it can damage a grown person's self-esteem, too. I grew up with a dad who had high standards but never put us down nor did he pump us up. But my mom was always rooting for us and telling us how smart and beautiful we were. We all ended up being straight A students, but I'm sure that wouldn't have been the case if either one of our parents called us stupid.