So my step son who is 19 years old was in the hospital for two weeks after being hit by a drunk driver. And well he has a lot of broken bones and a really bad concussion and well he has to be on bed rest for the next two weeks. But he is not even my own son and i want to cry anytime i see him he is in such bad shape it is not even funny. And i have never felt this way before and he needs help doing the most simple of tasks. And his fiance has been a big help with everything because i honestly think without her he would of given up a long time ago. And i am not sure what to do with him or how to help him. Well his fiancée called and asked if she could also stay with us to help and such. I have been thinking about saying yes but i am really unsure. His mom is dead and his dad is mostly in agreement with me. Advice?
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I am assuming since his mom is dead and he is engaged and moving in with you, that he and his fiancee lived together. If they were living together previously, I wouldn't split them up - plus, she probably can't afford the place on her own.
When you have someone that needs constant care, it never hurts to have one more person in the mix to help.
If your home can accommodate one more person without it being a serious strain, I'd say definitely yes.
You've said that he's in such bad shape that you feel uncomfortable even looking at him, and that he needs a lot of help. Well, it's going to be very tough for you to give him the help he needs, and she's offering to come shoulder some of that load.
Plus it may be very good for him psychologically to have her right there supporting him.
However, if you're leaning toward saying yes, before you tell her, talk to him about it. He might actually feel uncomfortable having her see him that bad off. I know she's been there for him so far, but that's on the hospital's terms; they limit when she can be there and what she can see. He might not want her around 24/7.
What is her living situation? Does she live far from you and the stay would make it easier to help you and your step son for the next month or till he recovers? If she lives near there is no need for her to move in and she can see your stepson when it works for all of you. How does your stepson feel about it? How well do you know his finace'? The hospital has social workers which will help you figure out your stepsons care. There are also services provided to you which allow you to get a break from time to time. You can always take the wait and see route and have your stepson settle in first.
Thank goodness he survived the wreak! What does his not being your son have to do with his recovery? Your son's fiance' sounds like a very loving and caring person. All of you need her right now...let her come. Maybe this situation will make all of you feel closer to each other. Maybe the both of you will feel more like mother & son.
I hope your ''son'' regains his good health again. :-)
Let her, its a good bonding time for them to realize they really are there for each other-or they are not. They are getting married anyway so i dont see why not-its not l;ike they probably havent "been together" already anyway and with him hurt i highly doubt you have anything to worry about happening in your house. I would let her, she will have to learn its now her time to take care of him, i mean they are getting married after all.
Im so sorry about your stepson! :-( Im sure that you could use his Fiance's help! I think that if I were you, I would allow her to stay. How often should be up to you & your husband. I wish him a speedy recovery.
if she is only interested in helping to nurse him back to health and you have an extra guest room she can stay in, then let her come to help if you feel you need the help.
if you feel you could manage with her just coming over to your home to help, then do that because it is not easy to have another adult living in your home. but if she lives far away or if he needs middle of the night care which you don't feel able to give, then her help may be needed.
also, how to her parents feel about this situation? i wouldn't let her do it unless you can offer her her own sleeping quarters and unless you really feel you need the help.
I don't see why you wouldn't let her come to help. He obviously needs help and I'm sure it would be nice to have an extra set of hands in the house to do that and they are engaged.
I don't see why not...
i dont see why you wouldnt let her come