I am getting sick and tired of my nosy co-workers. They try to act concerned about others but they are just being plain nosy. I hate to say this but it is only my caucasian co-workers that act this way. Including myself, there are only three other african-american people in my office, but they never butt into other peoples business. Go ahead and accuse me of being racist, but I know I am not racist so it doesn’t matter. Just like some people say some african-americans get mad about the truth, come caucasians tend to get mad about the truth too. I posted a similar question a month or so ago and got a few negative comments, but I am speaking the truth. If people are sick, if people are late, if people have a doctor’s appointment … my fellow caucasian co-workers need to know why. They need to know why you’re late. What you were doing that caused you to be late. If you’re going to be late tomorrow. Why is that anybody’s business?
Update:Two months ago, I told a couple of people that I’m going to have oral surgery today. Why are they all flocked around my desk asking me if I’m still going? How much it’s going to cost? They even wanted to see the decayed wisdom teeth. That is sick!
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well I know youre not racist because this is happening to me now for the first time in my life and the co workers are all black that are doing it... they just happen to be.... but anyway its soooooooo annoying!!!!!! they get judgemental of me when I do tell them something... when they are doing the same or WORSE!!!! so I guess they are just not happy with themselves...and jealous of me that I am happy doing what im doing...............
oh well.
just be kind, and seem happy all the time, they will give up.
people cant use against you what you yourself told them because you already KNOW what you told!!!! lol
so just laugh at them for even remembering your life. tell them get a hobby.
It might just be their learned way of bonding, and it also depends what part of the country you live in. But women tend to bond over personal issues, and the more personal the issue they feel the deeper the bond is. I would take offense if they use information against people, but not if they are trying to make a network of friends. Nosy and gossipy people deliberately hurt others, but genuine caring people are just being friendly, showing concern as a way of showing loyalty. By the way, it's been my experience that caucasions do not form close familial ties and foundations as much as African Americans in general, so caucasions tend to form family groups in the workplace more to fill the void. Do you talk to the other African American coworkers about personal issues?
I've experienced this, and Caucasian factor aside, I have found there is a gender component as well, as it seems to only be women who do this. Try to answer questions politely, but formally. Say this with a smile: "Yes, I was late today. I had something I needed to do. My boss is aware of it." Eventually they will get the message and leave you alone. Don't feel compelled to give out information simply because people are asking for it. Unless these people are your supervisors, there is nothing they need to know about your schedule, or anything else for that matter. Finally, I know it's irritating, but try to go easy on your coworkers, as it took me a while to figure out that people often do this because they want to be your friend and don't know how to go about it. They might find you to be unapproachable and are just looking for something to talk to you about or share in.
Oh come on now! People who like to gossip come in all skin colors. I agree with you that nosy co-workers are a pain in the rear. They are not your friends and they don't really care about your troubles, they just have an incessant need to know what's going on and comment on it.
It's best to avoid the gossipers. Walk out of the room if possible, don't answer their questions about your own personal matters, and don't listen to gossip about others. Once they realize you don't play the gossip game you will be excluded from their circle. It's not like you will stop them, you just won't hear it anymore. The room will get quiet when you walk in. What a relief!
There are 2 things you can do and they always work.
1) when they're talking about some else ignore them.....if they try to engage you in the conversation just say.....I'm sorry but I'm really not interested in talking about that.
2) when they ask you about your business......tell them you don't like talking about your personal business.
Some of this you have to get over because that's how some people are and if you let them make you crazy.....that's on you.
***note....this is really interesting that only AA people do this....WOW!!!
I have experienced it and I really did not like these people either but I do know you are stereotyping because for me the worst woman at my job was this middle aged African American gal. You need to be telling this to them not us. Find a way to tell them to mind there business that will be least like you are a attacking them. Good luck.
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What a bunch of freaks.
My advise is....
Don't feed the animals.