I am a student and I just moved in with my friends who I became close with when we lived in halls of residence together last year (all girls). We made it clear to one another before we moved in that if we had guests or partners staying over, it would be no more than 2 days a week and we would give the other housemates notice.
Then one of my friend's boyfriend brought a tin and said he would chip into it to help us with bills and stuff (which was of course very generous of him) so he put in £20! Then two of my friends told me to ask my boyfriend to put £20 into this tin as well, otherwise it wouldn't be "fair". He obliged because he didn't want to cause a dispute between me and my friends, but we both thought there was nothing fair about this.
Then, out of the blue they decided (without discussing this with me or another girl living with us) that whenever we have guests come and stay the night they must pay £1 into the tin to help us with bills. This is considering my boyfriend doesn't even take a shower at mine (he goes home) and we never even eat in, so frankly he is costing nothing. He doesn't get in anyone's way, in fact he only stays over at the weekend when the other two girls are at home. So they don't even need to deal with seeing his face.
Ever since they have tried to enforce this "rule" my boyfriend has felt very unwelcome and won't come and stay. Obviously its only a pound but it's not about that. Anyway, I am trying to think of a way to talk to them about this because I don't want there to be arguments, but also I really don't agree with the way they have gone about this either.
I live with these people and I get along with them, so the last thing I want is an angry fight about it.
Am I going crazy? Is this a reasonable thing to do? Please, give me any advice you have :(
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
That is very childish for your friends to enforce that unnecessary rule. Even without that tin, you guys would still able to pay the rent and all that. Otherwise just move on and let someone else rents it.
To be honest, I think your friends are a bit immature to do something like that. Because it's childish to me.
Anyway, I think that this is not worth your time. You're right, don't even bother argue about this because it might ruin the roommate relationship between you guys. And you guys won't able to live in peace anymore. I think the best way to handle is you pay for your boyfriend. Just put the money in the tin before you invite your boyfriend over to see you so that he won't have to pay. Let your friends know that you pay for him so they won't bother your boyfriends once he came over. And at the same time, tell your boyfriend that he won't have to pay anymore. Don't tell him why. Just tell him that only. So tell him don't feel uncomfortable about going over your place to see you. Everyone's happy. Problem solve.
A pound is almost less than nothing these days, and it does not seem an unreasonable request to me. You will find that throughout life you and everyone else will be have to pay for stuff you do not use......water is a good example. Everyone (except those with a water-meter) pay the same, nomatter how little water they use.
Council tax (rates) is another example where everyone pays for libraries, bridges etc even if they do not use these services.
But if you want to be pernickety, even the light that enables your boyfriend to enter the place, the dust he carries in on his shoes, the tiny wear on the seats he sits in, all add to cost in the end.
Just talk to them plain and simple. Maybe they are just jealous? I have no clue why they would be that way. I dont see any logic in what they are saying. Maybe just greed? Lol i wish you the best of luck.