In my life I have had other relationships with girlfriendswho smoke and who don’t, for first time in my life my current girlfriend withwhom we have been living together for about 6 months wants to make it ultimatum,so is either her or the pot.
Nobody dumped me before because of my “habit”, I smoked thefirst time I met her and then on a few other times that for her that seems toomany and that I do this every day according to her.
My reality is that I smoke every now and then and sometimesyes it could be everyday but personally this is not my preference as I don’t enjoyit when is too often as much as when is not so often. I’m a 35yo fellow and Iwont change my habit, it is sad because you know how this goes, I have neverliked being blackmailed and I disagree into stay in a relationship bysacrificing something I enjoy even when from her it might be for my bestinterest and the sake of our relationship and future as a family if we ever goahead and get over this issue.
I have my very own personal opinion about pot andunfortunately I will have to let her dump me because of this.
I am responsible with my work and life, I drink but I’m noteven a drunken person and I definitely know that I’m not that kind of man.
From her perspective as well as for probably most of youguys reading my question, the thing is clear, if I don’t stop smoking thatmeans I don’t love her enough, not willing to sacrifice a stupid habit for love,etc, on and on reasons.
I obviously don’t like this frame of thinking and I find itchildish, I can turn it around and go ahead and say things like, ok, she isjudging me by what the media and laws are telling people about it, I must be acriminal by being a smoker, I can alsothink that if she leaves me because of my habit it also means that she didn’t reallyloved me ever and that is all about the superficial judgement dictated bysociety, laws, media, etc.
Rather than getting to really know me this is just purejudgement.
I work hard and smart, I am responsible with my life andwork, I am not a nobody, I have 2 different degrees/diplomas, I can make goodmoney and give her the world if she wants it, I can do everything for her but Iam not willing to stop doing what I enjoy doing. I will really be devastatedwhen she breaks up with me but I will have to let this happen because I am notwilling to make a truce on her terms, very sadly.
Any thoughts please, help, personal experience? … Based onwhat I call the childish terms, do you think that if she dumps me it means shejust didn’t really loved me? If I let her go it really means I didn’t loved her?
I believe in respect and real pure love for each other, I accepther with all her virtues and defects and I know very well I love her for realbut I don’t want to be with someone who don’t really love me for what I am andcan leave me because I smoke weed and is not willing to really get to know meand see that I am not a bad guy.
Update:Hi Jane, thanks for your answer I appreciate it but I don't find it of correct thinking, I wouldn't even have considered being with you in the first place, in regards to that erection problem that is mere ignorance and it is wrong, in my personal case erections and sex are even better.
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I am sorry, but just stating my opinion after reading this - you say that you would give her the world and do anything for her... yet you cannot quit smoking pot for her? This makes no sense. You therefore would NOT give her the world and you would NOT do anything for her. Am I not correct? In addition, did she tell you why it is that she wants you to quit? I wouldn't want my boyfriend to smoke pot at all, simply because it cannot be good for you if you do it on a regular basis. What are her motives in wanting you to quit? Is she looking out for you?
Can I ask you, do you know what love is? Love is completely selfless. It is not thinking about yourself, it is only thinking about the other person and what is best for them. So if you quit smoking, will that be best for her? Your future children? Or is smoking pot only benefiting yourself? You are willing to give up the woman who you claim to love in order to maintain contact with the drug that you love? Who do you love more, pot or your girlfriend?
Can I also ask you why a person would be dictated by the media or society just because they do not like drugs? What?? How does this make sense? Scientifically, weed has been proven to harm the brain, heart, reproductive system, endocrine system, central nervous system, etc.
Think about what you want out of life. Is weed really worth giving up the girl that you claim you would give the world? Your reasoning seems to be very contradictory, and self-focused. If she stayed with you, and you continued to smoke weed, you will not only continue to endanger your health, but will endanger hers as well as create bad influences for your future children.
Who is more childish? The person who cannot give up a personal pleasure for the happiness of his loved ones, or the person that forces their loved one to give up a personal pleasure for their own good?
I probably sound like an asshole to you, but I'm just being completely honest, and you do not have to listen to me. This my personal opinion and you are entitled to your own. I am only telling this to you because I want to influence you to make a decision that is best for the both of you. I hope it all works out.
It's totally fair if she's not a fan of your pot habit. To people who don't smoke, it seems like a really lame hobby and it's unattractive and a turn off. I don't mean to insult you, I'm just trying to give you some perspective on how she probably feels when you smoke. If she's with you it's because she likes a lot of things about you, but drawing the line about smoking up is valid and it would be a shame for you two to break up over your habit. I think you've got a choice here, will you choose some leaves, or a wonderful woman? Choose wisely and good luck.
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she has u by the balls, and she knows it. nothing u do or say would get her to realise ur worth.take the time away from her. stop making her such a priority, dont be emotioanlly dependent on her cus when u are, any women wld walk the floor with u.u need to take a stand and let her know that u CAN live without her.if she doesnt feel it deep enough for u, the way u do for her, then she isnt the women who is right for u.even if u were married, u wld be miserable and wld end up eventually seeing that in time.
love urself. live For urself for a while 'WITHOUT' her in ur life.u need to show her who's the 'man' in the relationship. u arent filling that role very well so thats y she's filling it for u.dont let that happen any more. (and i dont mean by hitting her or controlling her, cus thats how some men think is 'being a man' , no i mean byt simply letting her know that u CAN and WILL live without her if u must.that she doesnt have that mental control that she currently has over u)
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It's not uncommon to hear people say that all their efforts only seem to make things worse. Does this sound like what you're going through? If so, understand that there is still hope... you just need a little guidance to get you on the right track to a successful reunion. It's human nature to want what we can't have. If you throw yourself at him it will probably push him away. If your ex senses that you're pressuring him, he will pull away from you.
I'm a girl, I hate pot with a passion, it's the biggest turn off to me in a relationship. On the other hand I smoke cigs, so I can sympathizes with your problem from that stand point. Cuz cigs are even more unpopular!
I think that you need to let this girl go...I honestly don't think it's going to be the last wedge that drives you apart. Pot's a relatively superficial problem. I might still date a guy with the habit if he kept it away from me, I don't know. It's tough.
I am going through the same situation. From the start of us knowing each other and dating I told her "I like to smoke pot." I put it out there for her to take. Long story short, we have been dating 2 years and she hates it and doesn't want me smoking. She got into the relationship knowing I smoke weed and now she is trying to change me. Love is not out making your loved one sacrifice things they like to be with them it's about excepting who they are and embracing them. No one should ever have to change for there significant other as long as it was something discussed prior to the relationship
In my opinion, you really don't love her, you love marijuana more than her, if u can't give it up and abonden her. For you weed is everything, girlfriend, love, life . I had relationships with guy who was smoking for a lot time, everyday, and he has problems with his erection. Do you want the same problems? or Dou you want to have problems with your heart, brain etc how it 's mentioned above.
I would leave you if you didn't give up, if i were her... Just because to live with guy who smokes weed and losing brain it's not good.
I know a couple just like this, they got married and she's pretty much a pothead. The only thing I'd be worried about is her taking money and spending it all on weed. Just be careful, I know you love the girl.
I have been dating a man that I love a great deal for almost 1 year in a half. He is 30 years old and has been smoking every single day since he was 10 years old. He is a good boyfriend but he lives in denial that he has a problem. He insists that he does it purely for enjoyment. I think that we would all agree that if someone drank alcohol every single day for 20 years straight that its not merely for enjoyment but that he's addicted. This is what I wish you stoners out there would realize. I have told him that I love him very much but that I just can't handle it no more. It pains me to tolerate it and pretend its not a problem. If you are dating someone like this, then stop lying to yourself and start loving yourself. I am at that point right now. I told him that I would stay with him on the condition that he gets clean. I told him that he is my world and that I would stay with him and help him if he did. I hope he makes the right decision and that all of you struggling out there quit lying to yourselves. Life is short. Figure out your priorities and stop hurting and wasting the time of those who love you. Be honest with them and yourself. Good luck.