She said that she wanted a heart shaped ring and showed me an example of it. So i went and picked out one that i liked and felt that this is something that i want to give to her for her hand in marge. It has a heart in the center with three square diamonds on both sides of the heart, going along the circumference of the band. It is .89 carets of diamonds all together. Now she is saying that she wanted something more simple, just one rock that is princess cut. Now to the way i purposed; I was going to do it in front of her entire family at a Christmas get together. On the same day i was to give her the ring she said that she didn't want to make a big deal, or have it done in-front of allot of people. So i decided to wait till we were alone at that function and i asked her. I prolly should have waited but i was so excited and nervous and just wanted to give her this ring that i worked my *** off to get. She now wants me to redo the purpose-L. WTF.
Feel free to tell me if I'm an *** or if she is in the right or wrong. I am just looking for what you would do in my situation.
Update:O forgot one thing; She told me this over the phone couldn't even wait to do it in person.
Update 3:This was added because could not fit in the best ans txt box
To make a long story short; we talked it out and come to find out that we had the same idea about the ring that was wanted, but she suggested something like the one she got and that's what i got her that one because i thought that's what she wanted. I didn't really want to get her that type of ring but i though that was what she wanted so i changed my plans and got it. The only reason she said she wanted the heart ring was because she didn't want me to spend to much money on it. I offered this, that we take the current ring and use two of the 11 stones from it and one large stone form her mother's pendent and make the ring that i was going to originally get her. Which is the past, present, and future ring to go with her necklace that she has. There will not be another proposal and we are going to move on and continue with what we have worked on for almost five years. We will be going to marge counseling before we get married
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There's a saying that "past behavior indicates future behavior." Meaning that if she has unreasonable expectations, says one thing but means another, plays mind games, and expects you to read her mind NOW, it's only going to continue and get more frustrating in the future.
So you have to decide what you want to do about this:
1. Continue as you are, knowing that she will never change her behavior
2. Encourage her to come with you to couples counseling so that together you can talk about the way you (fail to) communicate with each other and develop some new techniques for better communication, then make a decision about marriage
3. Break up and find someone who doesn't try to manipulate you
An engagement ring, is a CONDITIONAL present. An engagement ring is given under the circumstances which you suspect you would be with a guy or woman for existence. If the courting is broken earlier marriage, the hoop is rightfully yours. She does not have the properly suited to maintain it. regardless of this mentioned, not many ex-fiances easily pass after the hoop, because it may develop right into a extensive conflict. There are good arguments for the two factors, yet once you upload on the fact that she left you, it makes it a superb much less complicated case...good success!
While, honestly, I can't hate your girlfriend for telling you exactly what she wants I do hate her for being so unreasonable. Not everything in life happens exactly the way we want it to at exactly the time we want it.
Personally, this is a big old red flag. Normally, I cut people a lot of slack but this is pretty far over the line. You sound sweet and well intentioned and she sounds awful. If I were you, I'd just tell her that this is the ring you bought and that was the proposal she got and if it wasn't good enough for her perhaps it's time to reevaluate your future together.
Also, for the love of god, it's PROPOSE. Again, sweet and well intentioned, but you're driving me crazy with that.
Your sweet...your fiance, not so much. She should not give a crap if the ring is square or round or whatever. Its a SYMBOL, and whatever YOU picked out and wanted HEr to wear, that's what she should wear. Re-do a proposal? I hope your kidding. Don't be a door mat. If she can't accept your proposal or ring, this is just the beginning, she will be more of a pain in the a$$ later on.
My engagement ring is round, would I PREFER cushon? yes but I would NEVER dare tell my husband that. I appreciate his hard work and love for me and LOVE the ring he gave me that symbolized our love.
I don't agree with people telling other people what to do in a relationship, but my advice is to stop being a door mat and if she can't accept the proposal you did with the ring you purchased, tell her to take a hike.
Good Luck!
Yeesh, she doesn't sound easy to deal with! Firstly, since she said that was the shape of ring she wanted its not fair to change her mind when you actually got it. Its fair enough if you bought a 'trial ring', they are generally easy to exchange if it wasn't custom made, but that's the kind she wanted! Secondly telling you to repropose is just mean, I realize it may not have been what she imagined but it came from the heart, from excitement and love and that's all that should matter.
You were well-intentioned. But, also, inconsiderate and thoughtless.
Proposing at a public event. Not smart. Most women by and far prefer a private proposal. Anything else is putting them unfairly on the spot. You might have known she would say yes, but you still shouldn't assume it, because there is always that possibility a proposal will not go the way you wanted.
As for the ring, also not what most women want. In fact, it sounds butt ugly, to be blunt. A heart-shaped diamond is a pretty poor cut that is completely juvenile looking, not stylish and not something that will grow with the woman. Don't feel bad, you're not the first man to have very poor taste in jewelry, but do understand where your fiancee is coming from.
Where do you go from here? Swallow your pride and accept where you did wrong. Then try to diffuse the tension. Tell your fiancee you understand her concerns and it was never your intention to make her feel that way or the be inconsiderate of her wants/needs. Go out on a nice date. Do not redo the proposal, that is done, just move on and start planning a wedding.
Oh honey, please, realize that this is not the woman for you. She couldn't even be happy that you proposed and wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. She doesn't want you, she wants the "perfect ring" and "perfect proposal" and her idea of this keeps changing. She's shallow and materialistic. Do NOT propose again. You did it once, if she can't accept the fact that she will not always get things the way she wants them, then you need to move on my friend. I smell divorce in the future if you marry this girl.
She sounds like a *****, and like someone you don't want having their thumb over you for the rest of your life. Who cares if she didn't like the ring exactly, if someone finds you worthy to give you one, accept it and be grateful. As for the proposal, she pretty much asked for it that way, so she needs to realize she's responsible for causing you to do it in private.
Screw her
Perse sounds like your girlfriend, a stuck up snobby *****. You bought the ring she asked for and proposed. Dont propose again, take the ring and run!!!
My fiance picked out my ring by himself and proposed to me, although in the Dominican on a beach at sunset lol
She should be happy with what she got. That's the way life flows. Re-doing the proposal won't mean the same. Good luck with the future...