I’ve been with my b/f for 8 months now he’s lost touch with most of his friends but he has one he’s known since they were kids. Let’s call him R for now.
He was so happy he’s met the girl of his dreams we’ve talked about getting married but whenever my b/f mentions me to R he was uninterested and blanked faced. My b/f tried to talk about me but never got any reaction. He told him I live in the city and I’m a lawyer and R sd well she’ll always be out and never at home (soo not true)
Then in February they both went out and R made a racist joke about me cos I’m Indian and my b/f is white. He also said we’d look odd walking down the street. R said him and his g/f don’t want to meet me until we’ve been dating at least 6 months cos then they’d know we were serious together!
My b/f was really annoyed R’s attitude and had a go at him.
My b/f eventually told me all this, problem is R and g/f are very good friends with my b/f ex g/f still and that bothers me. Since she’d cheated on my b/f and yet she’s still friends with them!!
My b/f still sees R and I’m excluded as they aren’t bothered about me my b/f said let’s just go there but I feel like an uninvited charity case. He said R didn’t mean what he said and is just narrow minded etc but hey are really nice people.
I don’t wana see him really but don’t want to be excluded esp when my b/f’s ex is round at R’s place and sees them regularly which make me uncomfortable.
What shall I do?
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Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Surely this can't be the first time you have run up against this?
How did you deal with it the last time? How do the inter racial
couples that you know deal with this problem?
Only you can decide if this is worth what you are going to have
to deal with. There seem to be a lot of issues here, not just
the racism. l do wonder about being friends with an ex that
cheated, that is a red flag to me. And as far as them not wanting
to meet you until you had been together for at least 6 months - my
experience with this was a friend my husband had, This guy was
such a player, with so many different 'gf's', it was like being a
Walmart greeter when we were out with him. Not saying this is
the case, but it is one possibility.
Only you can make this decision.
Well I am afraid you will have to get used to the racism, it,s there and wont go away , But most people are not like that . You seem to have a mixed up relationship. You should sit down and sort yourself out . Decide what you want and who you want , then get rid of so called friends and tell them to mind their own business. For a change you run your own life don't let someone else run yours.