İ keep getting these bad terrible thoughts and they feel so real. I switch off. I'm so sick of these thoughts. I sometimes feel it would be better if I had some kind of severe head injury so that they just maybe just maybe be a chance that I could forget it. It's Ramadan and I am fasting at the minute. I feel like I'm am loosing my mind. What's the bloody matter with me. As a child a I suffered verbal and Physical abuse. Having to witness my mum being pulled up the stairs by her hair. Me having my ears twisted by my father. Being whipped with my dads belt. Being spat at. Having my credit cards taken off of me. Having my job seekers allowance and careers allowance taken off of me. Being told by my father that I will be the reason for his death. Being told that he will disown me.