When my biological father died when I was a baby, my mom remarried when I was about 5. When she married my stepdad, his siblings never really liked her at first. As a result, my mom never brought me up to address them as aunt and uncle. I always just called them by their first names. Over the years, they actually have become very friendly with us and started to accept us as family. Anyways, now I’m 30 years old and I wish I could change the way I address them because I think it’s disrespectful not to address them as Uncle _ and Aunt _. But it just feels so awkward and weird to suddenly do that since I’ve never addressed them that way before.
I started living on my own this year and I’m giving my own Christmas cards as opposed to my parents sending a common card from all of us when I used to live with them. I think it’s very rude and disrespectful to not address them as Aunt and Uncle on the card. But again, at the same time, it feels so awkward to suddenly write Aunt and Uncle for the first time.
So, should I start calling them Aunt and Uncle, especially on their Christmas cards? If so, how can I go about doing this without it feeling so awkward?
Answers & Comments
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The question isn't whether you should start doing it, but if they are comfortable hearing it from you. And don't be surprised if they say no. The older you get the more you want to be on equal ground with other younger adults. This idea follows along how your friends parents no longer want you to call them Mr and Mrs anymore too, but by their first names. Who knows, maybe you haven't reached that maturity level and don't feel comfortable doing so quite yet, some people take longer than others.
I have several aunts & an uncle that I call by their first name who are biologically related to me, however they're also in my age group so they're more like a cousin my parents didn't really force it since we were near the same ages, their older siblings however they did.. I don't call them aunt/uncle still but I have taught my kids to, and also call their step-parents brothers and sisters aunt/uncle out of respect for them.
I think it will really only be awkward if you draw too much attention to it. On Christmas cards, you really don't need to address them on the card itself, just sign your name.
Since you've never called them that, they might not actually be comfortable with you doing so now so maybe ask them first?
Your too old to start calling them aunt and uncle. Combine the title with their names. Call her Aunt Jan and him Uncle Albert.