My childhood was challenging bc lack of stability, being tossed to different family members, abandonment of father, mental sickness of mother, and periods of unsupervison. I never coped with my issues and built up anger, went out on my own at 17 and thought I could take on the world. Went to college which I loved being involved in but had challenging romantic relationships. After losing a relationship I spiraled and used drinking as a crutch. I stopped going to class bc it gave me anxiety. Dropped out and became a flight attendant. There were parts of everyday life I never thought prosed as a problem: anxiety with normal tasks / socializing that I didn’t have as a younger person. Some days I had no issues but some were worse. Things were great for a little on my own traveling and I got another boyfriend I moved in with. We were great at first until we weren’t, and that reflected in heightened anxiety during every day life at work or out and about. Things go so bad I lost him my job and my apartment. Spiraled out out again but this time was different, my body actually was sick from my anxiety. I developed hives everywhere I numbed myself with alcohol and literally had a full on mental breakdown. Woke up with bruises and scratches everywhere in pain and felt isolated from the world and like I’d never be normal again. This was only a few days ago and I’m seeing now how everything has been such a pattern in my life and I’m ready to do something about it before it happens again.
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You have a lot of trauma from your past that I think you’re ready to start dealing with. A missing parent (particularly a father figure) is extremely emotionally damaging for a girl. I know this first hand, as my dad left me at a young age.
Have you considered getting counseling or life therapy? I think visiting with an educated professional may be the start that you need to give you coping skills to let go of your anger, pain, frustration, and to find hope. With counseling, you could also journal your thoughts and feelings. Having a journal often brings people self-awareness and lets them set daily-weekly goals to making one’s life better.
I hope some of my words have helped. Stay strong and keep battling your demons. You got this, mate.
Please see a Doctor thanks ASAP.
Very best wishes
Mars
Source:) Study.
Pray about it. I was delivered from a devastating situation!
Its too late to try and handle this yourself.......its time to seek professional help........
Stop self medicating.....whether its booze, drugs, or men.......
The heart heals the mind.....which you tried when you found relationships.....which is why everything was better at first...........
But the mind can't heal the heart.......and if your mind isn't stable when your heart is broken damaged blackened etc.....it will compound the problems of the mind.....
Now your heart and mind are damaged......
Its now beyond your control and your body and spirit is breaking down in a sense......
Seek help.....NOW
Good Luck............
I hate it when people give their life story to a bunch of random people. This is what Psychiatrists are paid for.
Your problem is that you don't come to terms with your problems, you run from them and when they catch up to you you have no idea how to deal with them. Alcohol doesn't numb you either. It just makes everything far worse.