Why on god's green earth would you have a kid without being married to the person first? Kids deserve a STABLE home created by parents who have made a lifetime commitment. And why are you in such a big dang rush at only 20? You're barely out of your teen years!

Get married first. Save up some money. Start your career. Have a kid when you're maybe 25 and are settled enough to actually handle the responsibility.

moving may be particularly stressful, distinctly whilst somebody is moving very a ways away. upload that to the rigidity of fixing jobs and the loneliness that could accompany a huge pass, and you have have been given a distinctly severe challenge. on an identical time as that's great which you will counseling, i think of the priority needs to be making specific that your fiance is okay and dealing out any latest themes which you 2 have before you're making a great dedication. If meaning suspending the marriage, that's what needs to ensue. This shouldn't additionally be appropriate to the marriage, it is going to be approximately each thing that comes after it (you recognize, marriage). 3 counseling classes can not restoration this. in case you the two intend to make this artwork and are in it for the long haul, I propose suspending the marriage indefinitely till you artwork issues out.

You should be married for at least a year before considering trying to have a baby. You need to make sure that you're financially secure for a child and ready emotionally and mentally. A baby isn't something you can toss aside or get out of when you get sick of it, you need to be ready to spend thousands and live off a few hours of sleep every night.

Please use birth control.

And insist he wear a condom every time.

And seek counselling.

You can want better for yourself and your future family. Don't settle. Don't give your children anything less than the best.

ETA: In response to your email, I am sorry you feel birth control is responsible for your weight gain, but I can promise you getting pregnant would cause a lot more weight gain than birth control ever could. I suggest you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your birth control options. Many women have a good experience with the Nuva Ring, which is the number one birth control among gynecologists.

Maybe your fiance just doesn't feel all that comfortable making a baby with someone who calls herself Suicide Girl.

It sounds like he's uncertain about having a baby and/or getting married. Don't pressure him.

Wait till you guys are married :)

mainly because if you get pregnant

before you guys get married,

and if you guys break up...that would suck,

and you want to look thin in your wedding dress, right?

FIRST AND FOREMOST, YOU SHOULD WAIT FOR MARRIAGE BEFORE SEX OR KIDS. SECOND, EVERY DECISION THE TWO OF YOU MAKE SHOULD BE WELL THOUGHT OUT. THIRD, BRINGING A LIFE INTO THIS WORLD IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, AND IF THE TWO OF YOU ARE ALREADY HAVING TROUBLE MAKING CHOICES TOGETHER AND COMING TO AN AGREEMENT, YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO WAIT, THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS AHEAD. FOURTH, WHEN HE SAID HE WOULD DO IT, WHY DID YOU HAVE A NEGATIVE, DOUBTFUL RESPONSE TO WHAT HE SAID, WHEN HE OBVIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ISSUE, ONLY FOR YOU TO SOUND LIKE YOU DIDN'T TRUST HIS RESPONSE, SO OF COURSE HE SEE THERE IS A TRUST ISSUE, ON YOUR PART, YOU DID'NT BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAID OK. I DONT NEED TO SEE YOUR PICTURE BECAUSE HOW YOU LOOK IS NOT IMPORTANT, ITS WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE THAT MATTERS. I HEAR SOME INSECURITY ON YOUR PART. IF YOU ARE NOT CONFIDENT AND LOVE YOURSELF, YOU WONT BELIEVE ANYONE WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE. A CHILD DO NOT NEED TO BE BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD TO BE PUT IN THE MIDDLE OF A LOT OF CONFUSION AND INDECISIVENESS, A CHILD NEED BALANCE, BOTH PARENTS SHOWING THE ABILITY TO BE ABLE TO MAKE AND BE IN AGREEMENT WITH DECISIONS AND CHOICES THEY WILL BE MAKING FOR THEMSELVES AS WELL AS THEIR CHILD. IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THE TWO OFYOU REALLY NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME GETTING TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER, AND LESS TIME DWELLING ON SEX. SEX CAN KEEP YOU FROM MAKING HONEST DECISIONS ABOUT ABOUT WHETHER THE TWO OF YOU ARE REALLY IN LOVE OR JUST LOVING THE SEX. YOU TEND TO OVERLOOK GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. SEX IS NOT THE GLUE TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER WHEN IS STARTS TO FALL APART. REMEMBER SEX SOMETMES END BECAUSE OF AGE AND PHYSICAL REASONS, SO IF THIS HAPPENS, DO YOU HAVE A STRONG ENOUGH RELATIONSHIP OR BOND TO JUST BE SATISFIED WITH BEING TOGETHER WITHOUT THE SEX? IF NOT, THIS IS NOT THE PERSON FOR YOU. WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, AND YOU LIKED SOMEONE, AND YOU WASNT THINKING ABOUT SEX, YOU WOULD JUST BE HAPPY TO SEE, TALK, OR BE AROUND THAT PERSON. LOOKING FORWARD TO GROWING OLD TOGETHER AND DYING TOGETHER, THAT IS TRUE LOVE, P.S. I KNOW PEOPLE USE CAPITAL LETTERS TO SHOUT BUT I DON'T, SO DONT BE OFFENDED. BE BLESSED!