I think you are going to resign yourself to the fact that if you want to stay friends, you are going to have to suffer with difficult feelings. If you put salt in a milkshake, but want to finish the milkshake, you have to drink a salty milkshake. How you can improve your situation some is by finding someone else to also love. Doesn't mean you won't love you friend, but if you have someone else to lavish your affections on, it might sting less when your friend is getting his. Another thing is to realize that your affection for him is part real, part fantasy. I'm not trying to diminish your feelings, that is how it works for everyone. We make models of people, and when they aren't around, or we don't have a full picture of them, we paint in bits in the version of them we have in our mind. This is fine, but it is helpful to keep that in mind when you are getting love pangs. The hurt is some part outside real stuff, and part missing a version of him that doesn't really exist. I'm sure he is great, but you proably also only see the side of him that he lets you see. You can't know the whole him, but if you did, the picture in your head would change. Not saying you would dislike him then, just that who he is to you, is an amalgamation of what he lets you see, mixed with who he is, mixed with who you want him to be in your mind. When you suffer, part of that suffering is for a person that doesn't exist outside of a construct. It may not help much at first, but when you feel the hurt, if you remind yourself of this, in time the pain will be lessened to some degree because it won't hold so strongly to the idealized form of him you (both) have created.

Both things together won't remove your feelings, but it will make them more manageable and might actually strengthen your relationship because you can have that connection without feeling as hurt by the things you cannot have. It's a compromise, but I think that is the best you can hope to get here, if you don't want to walk away.

This is a tough challenge for you. You aren't prepared to give him up entirely, but it must pain you to know that he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you do for him. Only you can decide how much of the stress you are willing to endure, and when you will have had enough. If I were in your shoes, however, I would back off, try to find my emotional needs met elsewhere, and remain good friends, even from a distance. You never know whether his current relationship will last, but even if it does, be gracious, be kind, and don't forget to keep your self esteem and dignity intact. Good wishes,

It does not matter how you feel about him romantically you control your actions. Dont even hint at your feelings just talk as a friend. I KNOW its nearly impossible you still need to do the best you can to maintain the friendship because that is very rare.