Several points here:

UNTIL you are able to ask for what you want, you are not ready to make a relationship work.

Also, it is YOUR responsibility to ask for what you want. Expecting your partner to read your mind is unrealistic.

As far as asking for eye-contact and feedback (nodding, any other kind of feedback) is MOST reasonable. You might be quite right . .he might not be listening. Since you also are not a mindreader, the only way YOU know he is listening is through his eye-contact and feedback.

If he tells you that you are assuming, tell him you cannot read his mind, that all people make assumptions, and if he wants you to assume that he IS listening, then it is HIS responsibility to SHOW you with eye contact and nodding.

Just as it is YOUR responsibility to tell him when you need a hug, rather than expecting him to read your mind.

Of all the relationship-breakers, expecting the other to read our mind is one of THE biggest culprits.

As far as trying to change him, he has the right idea, but the wrong application.

What makes a relationship work is that each of us is FIRSTLY whole and healthy, able to stand on our own comfortably in both emotional and material/financial ways. And we are able to work with our own emotions, so that we can accept the flaws in our partner. Unless of course those flaws are toxic (abuse, cheating, etc) . .there are some things NO one can accept, and if they are there, then you LEAVE the relationship.

But otherwise, we either accept who they are or we risk losing them. Others are not here to “make” us happy, and if we were not happy before we met them, we will not remain happy with them once the honeymoon phase has died out.

And since no one is perfect, our relationships either become a battleground trying to make each other change and making each other feel they are not lovable … or a close supportive relationship with a foundation of accepting each other.

So he has the right idea .. but the wrong application. People have to work on caring about how the other feels. But of course, no one can read minds.

You cannot expect him to read your mind when you need a hug.

He cannot expect you to read his mind when he gives no indication that he is listening.

Make a deal with him .. that you will ASK when you need a hug, and that he will give feedback when you talk with him.

If he cares about you, he will at least TRY. At least for a while (previous behaviors usually reassert themselves).

If he doesn’t care, he will try “clever” arguments to undermine you.

And if he does that, you won’t change him. If he won’t do his share of working on the relationship, then he is too selfish to nurture a relationship and make it last. In which case it is best to bail out. Yes, there would be “withdrawal symptoms” for a while as you got over the pain of breaking up. But there should not be fear … fear and neediness means we are not ready to love, only open to being selfish. And love is an action, not a feeling.

DOES he love you?

FEW under the age of 40 or 50 are ABLE to love. Most of them mistake being selfishly attached for being love. He might THINK he loves you. Or he might not think he loves you. We cannot read his mind, but his actions will tell you whether he loves your and is able to love anyone at all.

Is he trying to mentally abuse you? No. He is just like anyone … he wants what he wants and he wants it as “cheaply” as he can obtain it. In this case, he might care more about what he gets than about what he gets … so he might be selfish.

By the same token, I don’t think he is trying to “play with” your mind .. he just wants what he wants. And so his attitudes support what he wants.

YOUR QUESTION about him should be: When I sit down to bargain with him (I will ask, you will show feedback) … is he willing to WORK on the relationship.

f not, then there is no relationship to work on.

If he is willing to work on it, then maybe the two of you are on the way to making it last.

You're willing to compromise and he isn't...not a good sign!