I'm a rising Sophmore in High School.

I've been emotionally abused since childhood. I believe my mother has undiagnosed bi-polar disorder. My father follows her lead to appease her, in hopes to regain her affections. This will obviously never work, but he allows it, and he is as much the abuser as she is, I think.

My mother systematically belittles me. She tells me I'm lazy, hypersensative, and too dependent. She calls me names when especially angry, ranging from "crazy" to "idiot" to "fatass" and all other manner of names. Sometimes she just outright ignores me.

She doesn't let me spend time with my best friend. I go to school and back. I can count on my hand the amount of times I was allowed, and she only let me go b/c I was "under her feet".

She herself barely leaves the house, nor does she permit my father to unless running errands for her. All day, she sits on the couch, eats, and watches tv. She's heavily influenced by media, especially reality tv. She carries around these ridiculous ideals she picked up from these programs. She also assumes that everyone else is beneath her in terms of knowledge. She says things that are a far cry from the truth. I learned this at a young age, after being mafe fun of by other kids and gently corrected by teachers in response to repeating something she'd told me. She is the reigning authority in my life, however, and she hates it when it's obvious I doubt her words.

She's a martyr. She claims no one helps her around the house, yet refuses help when it's offered or says she's too tired to do anything.

It also seems like she doesn't want me to succeed. She often holds me back from many great opportunities in school, such as Beta club and Honors classes, both of which I more than qualify for.

Lately, it's gotten worse. I found myself considering suicide, whereas I shuddered at the very thought of it before. I'm frustrated and sad and I don't know what to do. I want to go far away, but I don't want to leave my best friend.