Why is it a problem and not just the way things are?

Why should a guy be attracted to YOU just because you find THEM attractive?

Good question. This is too long and I did not spell/grammar check. But here is a real generic & honest answer.

Romantic Attraction absolute is something you can control. Just as managers/corporations control employees. Religions/Pastors control their flock.... Governments control citizens or firemen / women control fire.

We've been studying human interaction for thousands of years, we are all "Human, right?" Well, we all generally have the same motivations, needs, core instincts, attractions and survival strategies. We have basic human needs relevant to sex and many other things.

You need to learn what they are and how to leverage them. Some call it "gaming", "pick up artist" or "players" - it is pretty complicated to be honest. While it is manipulative parents do the same to children or the military soldiers. As long as you are doing it to better the relationship or make you happy.

Start here:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20995.The_Art_...

Really dumbed down tips, ok general intro:

http://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-relationships/ne...

Ok interview:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2440031/...

A quick example. The first things Men (and women) notice in women are: Eyes, Lips, Breast, Hips, Waist, Teeth. This has been studied for years Google.com it. So what you want to do is draw someones attention to those areas, highlight them, use open posture, be friendly. It is normal & ok human nature. It is simply what we notice. Then when you have their attention, you want to redirect it to you. It does not remotely have to be about getting people into bed. It is learning about how to understand people, stand out, be memorable, appeal to them, obtain beneficial & mutual rapport.

That is one of life's enduring mysteries

Being attractive is one thing, attracting is another thing. If you see someone you like, go get em.

Maybe because they don't have to be and you have to work for their attention like everyone else? I know, it's a shocking concept if you've never had to do so before.