Ok me and my fiancé are planning our wedding well mostly me and my mom and sister. He has been doing good thru the whole thing. But I asked him to get all of his people he wanted to come on a list and he got snippy with me...I have no idea why he did that...we need to send these out because our wedding is coming up in a few months. Idk why he did that..but it made me sad.
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Marriages don't work well when you can't communicate. A simple "Why is this upsetting you" could have cleared things up quickly.
Wedding planning is difficult! I went through similar issues when planning our wedding because even though my husband runs a professional wedding company, is isn't a wedding planner and didn't have a lot of interest in all the little details like I did. My mom and I planned it and he ended up feeling left out. This is a great first lesson in marriage though because communication is EVERYTHING. Start practicing now by looking at situations like these from a step backward and thinking of the ways you can let him be himself and still be involved in the wedding. Use his strengths to your advantage at tackling this issue together and don't worry about him not being interested in the same things you are about this event. You are together because you compliment each other not because you are exactly the same! Overall, don't worry, this is totally normal wedding stuff!
-Maddie
www.MikeBellWeddings.com
"He has been doing good through the whole thing" - what in the name of all that is sane does that even mean?
Are you and your mother and sister getting married, or you and your fiance? Why are you not planning the wedding with the one person who is as invested in this marriage as you are?
You need to say to him that all wedding plans are on hold until he pulls the finger out and starts taking an interest in it. My guess is that he will be mightily relieved because he's not actually all that keen on getting married. In which case you need to decide if you want to keep wasting your time on a relationship without a future.
This is not a question.
Time for you to cool it off with the wedding nagging. Talk about something else.
Ask his mother to provide a guest list and to talk it over with her son how to distribute the X amount of invitations his side gets.
There, done.
If you can't have a simple, undramatic conversation with your fiance about this, the two of you have no business getting married.
You need to talk to him.
My husband gave me a list of ten people.
I showed his listed to his mother, she could not believe the list.
He did not put anyone in his family that lived out of state, including his grandparents. Sometimes they have no clue on who to put on the list.
Why are you marrying the guy if you cannot talk to him about something as simple as a guest list?
Put the wedding plans on hold until you figure out how to communicate.
And maybe hold off on involving your mom and sister - it's not their wedding.
It may be simple to ask "What's upsetting you?" but it's not always simple for the other person to answer, since men especially are often not very in touch with their feelings or they may not like talking about feelings, which is considered "un-masculine." He may be nervous in general about taking this big step in his life (even though he wants to marry you, he could still have nervousness and worry). That could explain his snippiness. He might also consider fussing over the wedding details to be "women's work." (If these things are true about him, be prepared to be married to a sexist, though he could be a great guy in other respects.) It's always good to give a person "positive feedback" instead of criticizing them for what you don't like. So instead of telling him that he made you feel sad (or being mad that you and your family are left to do all the work), try telling him how happy it would make you if he would share some of these little tasks with you. (Of course the list of his guests is something only he could do--or maybe he would want one of his family members to help him with it?) Or, when he does do something to help, praise him and tell him how happy it makes you. That would reinforce the positive behavior you want to see more of.