Verified answer

Seriously? Your bf can either go by your wishes or skip on out to the LEFT. He has nothing to say about who you invite to the birthing experience. Best bet for you? Ban his controlling a** and get ready to be with an insecure, angry, controlling man who is going to be h*ll to live with if, that is, you stay with him.

He sounds like a real piece of work. After the baby is born watch and see if he doesn't start telling you who can visit the baby, babysit the baby and anything else going on in your life.

Motherhood is work enough. If you also have to "babysit" a jealous, insecure dude too you're going to get sick and tired of his controlling ways real quick and soon.

Red flags all over the place. Do YOU. Whoever you want in the room should be in the room. Dude is trying to "see" if he can "see" himself when the baby comes out and that's one reason for his actions. Don't be surprised if he accuses you of cheating at some point.

Does he have other children? If so is he taking care of them? Does he cheat on you? Think long and hard about giving in to any of his demands because he's not going to change!

Best wishes for a successful outcome and ignore listening to him because if you do? You're going to alienate your whole family. Once he gets you to be isolated? He'll leave your butt behind and then you'll have to try to work your way back into the good graces of your family and friends. This guy is [NOT] a keeper.

Don't believe me? Just wait a few ticks and come back here in this forum to get encouragement and support.

I do understand his point of view.

He may feel that he will be pushed into the background if your family is there. And it is his baby.

But he is being a bit of a prick saying he will break up with you if he does not get his way as in the end it is you pushing out the baby not him.

I think you can compromise and take your sister out of the equation. Then you need to decide how much you need your mum there. Are you ok for your mum to be there during the labour stage but not the pushing bit? That way the actual birth of your child will be a special moment between you and your partner. If he wants to be the only one there during the pushing bit I would expect him to take childbirth classes so he knows how to support you through delivery.

In terms of having his mum there I would explain that you are the one pushing a baby out of your body and your families do not get along all of the time. The last thing you need at that time is for there to be conflict in the room. You can also suggest you talk you your midwife about this (preferably together) most midwives are pretty forceful at making sure the mothers wishes are abided with (and they may be better at explaining you your boyfriend why his idea is not going to happen).

Hi, I do understand where your partner is coming from, with my first baby I had my ex, mum and cousin in there with me, I got to hold my son last and I felt a little upset!! I felt that he was my baby I did all the hard work so I should of got to hold him first but anyway me and my ex split up because of his family, I met a new guy, 2 years in to our relationship we decided to have a baby, this time I only took him in to the delivery suite and it was the best decision ever! We had some quality time as a couple and family to bond with our son, this was his first baby so it was extra special! I think it should just be you and your partner, its your baby and you 2 created this child so only you 2 should experience the birth together! If you still feel that you want your mum there then youl have to let his mum be there and do you realy want an atmosphere in the room whilst your in labour? Maybe your mum and his could wait outside? Or you can tell your partner your mum and sister can come in till your ready to push? As your ready to give birth they can leave and it will be only you him and your baby? And if he wants his mum to be there during labour then tell him fine, I think that's the only option you got! Good luck :)

If he'd break up with you over that, then personally, I would bring my mom and sister in the room and leave him out. Using breaking up as a threat is extremely unhealthy for a relationship and you should put your foot down now before he starts using that excuse again and again. You have a long road ahead of you with him now that you have a child.

Your privates will be exposed to people in the room and you will be very vulnerable, there's absolutely no reason to have someone in the room that you're not comfortable with, this isn't his time of anxiety and strength, it's yours. He's not going through labor. Have whoever you feel comfortable with and let him react as he pleases, but keep your head strong about your choice and your reasons.

If your mum and sister were there when baby was conceived (which I doubt) then great

But while this is your decision you need to remember that this is going to be your baby and your husbands baby. He's soooo right about it being a private and bonding moment before the 3 of you

You'll obviously be supported by family and friends but this really is such an intimate moment I promise its so worth just being you him and baby

Tell him that when he is pregnant he can decide whom to have in the delivery room while he gives birth.

Ever since my first pregnancy just over six years ago, I have won a lot of arguments and shut my husband up many times with reminding him that I was pregnant, and gave birth and breastfed. (Well, breastfeed, as my two-year-old still does, but mostly in the afternoon when he goes down for his nap.)

My parents were present during both of my labors. My father disappeared when it was time for me to actually give birth. Having my mommy there when I became a mommy was wonderful. Also, make it clear that you will be the first to hold your baby. I delivered in two different hospitals in two different cities and both times, they laid my baby on my chest right away. After the second baby, we decided that my MIL can be in with me as well if she chooses. (It will likely be her last grandchild. My husband's older siblings are done with having kids and his younger is too dependent on Mommy to even date, let alone marry and have children.) My parents and my in-laws do get along, so that wouldn't be an issue. (The "issue" would be the crass "jokes" my father, FIL and husband would make. It was bad enough the first two times. Having my FIL there will be even worse and funny.) Both times, my in-laws and sister-in-law were there within an hour. The first time, my husband (I think, it could have been my mother) called when I was getting close to giving birth so my in-laws could leave. The second time, they were at our home caring for our first born. (My sister and her daughter were there within a half hour the first time, but they only lived 15 minutes away and they knew it was coming.)

Also, your boyfriend doesn't sound very mature if he is going to dump you over this. If he does, then he wasn't worth having in your life to begin with. I ended several relationships analysis of whether or not he would make good husband and father material (in that order).

You are the one having the baby. You get to decide. This isn't about him. It isn't about him bonding with you. It is about you having a baby, and you should have the people there who will best help you through that. I can't imagine anyone on earth for whom that would dbe their baby daddy's mother. She is practically a stranger to you. Your own mother is who you need. She has taken care of you for years in the past, and she can take care of you for this one day in your life too.

Put your foot down. Say that you are deciding. You are having your mother there. If he doesn't like it, he can stay home.

I completely agree with your boyfriend. Sorry.

I personally feel it should be just you and him in the room. I've never understood people having other family members in there. In fact, I find that quite bizarre.

If you break up over this, how are you going to handle other conflicts over your child?