still calls me everyday. He says it is over forever and he wants to focus on his career and hobbies. He says their is no one else. But why would he continue to call me? My first thought was he found someone new but yet still wanted to keep in touch with me. So I told him to leave me alone and stay out of my life. He insists there is no one else and is always at home when he calls me but of course I cant be sure. He hasn't seen me since he broke my heart, nor has he asked for anything sexually. But he just keeps calling everyday. He doesn't text as much though. I know he is going through some things with health and his family, but still he knows I would have helped him. I just don't understand if there is no one else and he ended the engagement, why would he call? It is sending me mixed signals, like maybe he misses me and it will work out then he will say its over for good and then it hurts again. Then he says maybe one day it will work out. I cant take this anymore. Im devastated yet comforted to hear his voice. But why would a man leave and keep calling?
Update:Its been like this for 3 weeks.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Narcissistic Personality Disorder - If he has this he could be using you as a "Supply" in case this mistress of his doesn't work out, OR he may of had a mistress that flaked out and now is trying to keep you on the side JUST in-case he can't find anyone. He seems pretty selfish who ever he is. Also look up Narcissistic Gas-lighting while your at it, if he is a Narc, run! because they don't love you they never did, heck they don't even love their mistress they can't love anyone. it is ALL fake. And all they worry about is themselves.
I would drop this guy and throw him like a hot potato when someone loves you they don't leave. When someone loves you they cherish you, they are kind, and not jealous of you. They don't break your heart and there soul is combined with yours.
Sometimes it's hard to just cut somebody out of your life that you've been with for so long. He's USED to having you around, and even though he doesn't want to be with you anymore, it sounds like he's having a hard time letting go. If I were you, I wouldn't take his calls or respond to his text messages. Eventually he'll get the hint -or- realize what he nearly threw away. Either way, you don't have to lift a finger.
Maybe his health issues are serious and he does not want you to go through that.
He should give you a reason that you can understand, though. If he was your fiance, then it seems that he should be able to open up to you and let you know what his reason is.
If not, then maybe it is good that you are seeing that know. If he cannot talk to you about it then you need to decide if you want to keep contact with him. Tell him it is painful to continue this way.
Ignore his attempts to reach out. He can't have his cake and eat it too. You are only enabling his behavior accepting his calls and answering him when he contacts you. The longer you do it, the more he'll think that it was ok to break off the engagement to do his thing and dismiss the fact it's painful for you to be put through this. So again just ignore him, you'll find that it's necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. So purge him from your contacts if you have to , block his number, anything but do it for your sake!
Stop taking his calls!!
The reason he still calls you is that he benefits from that 'perk' to know he has you caring for him, advising him, and he gets to share his life and intimate details with you - a person he trusts. He has to get the message that because he broke up with you, he GETS NO PERKS!
Either he wants to start the relationship again or he wants a booty call but is too afraid to ask for that right now.
Tell him to cut it out ..call if he makes up his mind ...but ur not waiting ovr on he's keeping u around bc he's selfish