Hi. I am an 18 year old female who's very insecure. I was bullied as an elementary and middle school student. When I got to highschool I didn't let anyone bother me, things changed but, one thing since I've been a child didn't change.. My insecurity. I have such low confidence that I can't even give eye to eye contact when I speak with anyone other than my family. I panic when I see large crowds, and in college there are crowds everywhere! I went to a small highschool, so I'm not used to a large amount of people walking. First day of college I actually hid under a balcony so I can avoid the people walking past the tables. Next day, I made my sister go in and get me fries from the cafe, and when she came back she had to leave so I sat alone, and I couldn't even take more than 10 bites of fries without me stopping for about 5 minutes looking around me checking who's looking at me eat for me to actually get to my second fry. So I ended up throwing it all away. Third day I came 10 minutes late so I skipped class because I couldn't bare the eyes that will be on me when I walk in. Few days later I almost ran out of class when the teacher said that she'll be picking out random students to do random math problems. (I know the answer I just get so nervous that I blurt out wrong things) but thank god she didn't get to me! I was sweating like a pig. I have no friends due to bullying so I kind of set limits at highschool with friends. I stayed away from them. So I'm taking classes alone, and doing it all alone and I feel like I just can't do it anymore! I can't walk without being so nervous that I sometimes trip on my own shadow. I feel like giving up on everything. Things are so complicated, and I don't know what to do. I can't get help because of the money, and I have no insurance, or anything that'll pay. Family is very unsupportive. I just need help from here. Anything will do, I know that I'll have to accept this sooner or later but for the time being what should I do? And
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Read very carefully: No one cares about what you are doing. No one is looking at you, no one cares if you are late or if you eat 1 or 100 fries. No one cares if you trip and fall on your face or if you do a 360 ollie on a skateboard.
No one else cares.
Get over this "fear" by realizing that people aren't looking at you, you are being incredibly self-centered by thinking they are. That's okay, it's not bad you just have to learn that no one cares. You are not anyones cell phone or notebook, they are looking at their own stuff and worrying about their own problems, not you or yours.
You seem to have a serious problem and the only way to get better would be to see a professional and possibly get medication. Contact your school advisor (by email if you are uncomfortable) and ask if your school has any sort of counseling program. If you're school does, then it will either be free or low charge. If not, maybe your advisor can get you in contact with a psychology professor who may have counseling background. They or possibly staff in the university clinic might be able to help you figure out how to pay for counseling services if need be. Have your sister accompany you to meet these people.
But anyways, you just need to think positive. Bullies are non-existent in college because people are more mature. You just need to remind yourself that everything is alright and talking to people or getting one wrong answer in class is going to have absolutely no negative effect on you. Because if you can't get past this, then you won't be able to ever get a job. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do something you are uncomfortable doing. Think of this as more of testing yourself and making yourself a better person rather than thinking of it as a hassle. Have your sister accompany you when she can and ask her to push you into some of the situations you are afraid of and to encourage you by giving you guidance on how to react in a certain situation. It should become easier over time. I used to be afraid to talk to anyone but family on the phone, but my first ever job required me to answer the phone occasionally, and, although I still don't like it, I'm not really afraid anymore. Maybe you can write down everything that you are afraid of and then have your sister look over the list and tell you the reasons you shouldn't be afraid of them and how to react in each situation. Just take it one step at a time, think positive, and see if there is anyone or any programs at your school that can help. And remember that no one expects you to be perfect. So don't try to be, just be yourself.
Well whoever bullied you before are disgusting
But I'm assuming they aren't at your high school now? :/ you seem like quite a nice person, so if you didn't over think it and get paranoid and nervous it would be easy for you to make friends!! Just relax breath chill, nobody's perfect and I'm sure theres people at high school who have no one to talk to either! So maybe you could find someone who's sitting by themselves at lunch etc. but you need the confidence to walk...no offence but your not the centre of attention so no one will be looking at you! They'll be looking at where they're going etc. :') :P and if you know the answer in maths then be proud of yourself! Because in sure not many other people do, and if you answered the question wrong anyway, people aren't going to remember it for the rest of their lives!
I forgot my call - plenty plenty hate on blood on the dance floor purely for there look and there message approximately Sexual issues. i think of there ok. they have a reliable message that there sending out to every physique. i'm now going to get a gaggle of dislikes. the 1st element that is composed of my strategies is my call. Jesse
Go to your school counseling center and talk to a therapist.