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Sounds like you have a presence about you that a mother can trust to say that, and NOT scare the child too much. I expect you have a good aura surrounding you. I have done similar in the past when the kids were young, but, I wouldn't point out someone who would truly frighten my kids. It was more like a "see how your actions are making people notice that you are misbehaving?" people get upset when children misbehave in public... it works,

No, you are not supposed to scare the child, just a hint of disapproval for their disobedience.

I am not really sure what prompted me to use a complete stranger, that is why I say you must have a good aura. I only used people that weren't scary looking and would give an understanding wink or smile when the children weren't looking. At least as they grew up my kids didn't act like hellions every time we went to the store.

It isn't done to hurt. It was done to learn to have respect for other people in the store. Nobody wants to listen to a screaming kid who won't listen.

Cruel to be kind.

A comeback? You don't need a "comeback", per se, but I have a similar suggestion.

Next time a mother says something like, "You better stop, or the 'big man' will get you!!", just say this to the child, "YES... Yes I will get you... I'll get you some ICE CREAM!" (Say the 'get you' part very seriously and then the 'ice cream' part with a big smile). This will likely cause the child to burst into giggles and it will teach the mother not to use you to threaten her child, but it's lighthearted enough to not to offend her either.

When I was a kid and yelling for stuff at the market and embarrassing mom she would just lean over and whisper in my ear what was going to happen to me soon as we got home.

She should have wrote horror movies, she had such a good imagination.

For the rest of the shopping trip I would just walk alongside the trolley, rigid as a zombie just thinking about what she said.

I'm all grown up now, but if I don't go over there and do my chores, she rings me and my girl wonders why I suddenly go all rigid, grab my keys and rush out the door. lol

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Man, you look all tonk in the picture but how can you say: 'giggle like a teenager'. Thats just a putdown to us!

It did make me laugh though.Im inexperienced with kids but ive never heard of 'THE BIG MAN' but have heard of the Scary Woof Woof!

Wow, thats crazy. I would never dream of involving a stranger in the discipline of my child. I think the mom is going to regret showing that sign of weakness...what does she say when she is all by herself with no "big scary man" to threaten the child with?

It is a cop out, not accepting responsibility for teaching your child to behave well in social situations. It is damaging for the child and prevents them learning how to behave appropriately in different situations. Children need rules, boundaries, consequences and consistency. By making you (a stranger) the consequence they are denying responsibility of their child's behaviour AND they are pretending to be the child's friend rather than parenting them.

No, please don't scare the child. If you must say anything, then acknowledge to the parent how difficult it is having children in the supermarket and suggest that perhaps the child can help them to put things in the basket, make choices (say colour of toilet roll) and learn to become involved. Simple rewards such as 'we can go to the park this afternoon, because you are being so good helping with shopping' are much much better than any food reward or any punishment.

Children will have to go to the supermarket, they will have to be in social situations. Raising children is hard work.You are correct in not helping parents by colluding with them to avoid their responsibility in correcting their children's behaviours and role modeling how they should behave.

Comeback - You chose to have them, do your job set rules, boundaries and consequences. He/she is not my child to reprimand - not funny but appropriate.

I remember reading something along these lines a very long time ago. It was written by a large Police Officer, who was aggravated by a mother who was trying to get her child to do something by threatening her child with the Police Officer.

They were all at a dinner, the officer was on duty and in uniform. The mother said to her child, "If you don't eat your peas, you will not grow up big and strong, and I'm going to have that police officer come talk to you." ("Talk" was said in a way that was a threat to the child.)

The police officer finished his meal, and went over to the booth mother and child were sitting in. He leaned over to the little boy and said, "Son, I'm 6'6" and I've never eaten peas before in my life."

He left a grinning child, and a stunned mother.

I've always liked that story. Perhaps you should take the mothers up on their offer? Ask them what they thing you should "get" their child? Soda, ice cream, candy? The children will pick up on it immediately, and realize you are harmless. The mothers will then be stuck with a child howling for treats. Perhaps they will then figure out a better way to "parent" their children than threatening them with other people.

~Garnet

Permaculture homesteading/farming over 20 years

Revelation 15-17 says: "i be attentive to your deeds, which you're neither chilly nor warm. I wish you have been the two one or the different! So, considering the fact which you're lukewarm—neither warm nor chilly—i'm approximately to spit you out of my mouth. you're saying, 'i'm rich; I even have won wealth and don't choose for a concern.' yet you don't comprehend which you're wretched, pitiful, undesirable, blind and bare." the way I interpret those verses, they're precisely what you're describing. a lot of human beings circulate to faith for secure practices. they choose for insurance that there is a greater suitable power on top of issues and that their spouse and babies are doing something greater desirable than rotting interior the floor. it could additionally develop right into a societal concern the place human beings choose for to circulate to church to perpetuate the parable that no longer something is incorrect of their kin (those are the church homes the place every physique casually asks "How ya doin?" yet no one is anticipated to respond to something different than "solid" or "high quality," and in the event that they did the asker may be indignant). in spite of the undeniable fact that, "lukewarm" Christians choose for no longer something to do with the accountability of actual following the regulations, and for the main section do no longer even take it sluggish. on the different hand, in case you look no longer undemanding adequate there are some who make a actual attempt, yet nonetheless fall short each time. the answer to why is only that guy is imperfect.

Those are not smart people. I would NEVER say that. If a child isn't behaving for me, I say something about I am not happy with you and you won't get ____ (some reward) if you continue to misbehave. I dislike people who make up the 'bogy man' or someone else to discipline their kids. Intelligent people should not be doing this.

I can sympathise - I retired from teaching recently, and when I went back to my old school for a visit, a former colleague told me that she made the children behave by telling them that if they didn't, I would return! At first I was a bit hurt, but then I thought, what the heck, anything I can do to help....! Good luck to you and keep smiling!