Verified answer

You will need a very loud, blasphemous way of speaking and you need to be able to consume insane amounts of alcohol constantly throughout the day. I think that right there will get you in.

Good to see you know where you are going.I see that you are an ambitious woman.And since I see your question is asked in such ephemeral and light-hearted terms,I will answer it just for the Hell of it. All positions in Hell are open.No experience is required.You will instantly be admitted to a union of unholy powers.You can never be terminated,but you may get fired a lot.The job has long hours-they just never end.Management has an endless molten glass ceiling so you cannot attain a position in that area,so a resume will not be neccessary.We are always hiring and recruiting.The position lasts a very long time-at least until you are demoted to an even worse position in a vacation hotspot called the Lake of Fire.Hell does not discriminate-it doesn't matter where you are from.Welcome aboard!Opportunities for new and painful experiences are UNLIMITED!Drinks and food on the premises is strictly prohibited!Smoking is allowed,however.

Don't leave out your YA accounts... I plan on being in a hogh management position, perhaps the board of directors.

I think Idiocracy followed me around for a few days to give that answer....

How about a couple of recent terms as Commander in Chief of the Untied States?

I get the feeling you'd be well suited for the position of Head Torturer Extraordinaire.

Have you any experience with whips and chains?

If you don't know Jesus you need not fill out any resume. Your have a free ticket their already dear. It's funny to you now . It won't be at the great white throne judgment when you stand in front of God . Your presence standing before God at the great white throne will be more real then sitting in front of you computer desk while you were typing this post.. It is my prayer that the scales the enemy has placed upon your eyes are allowed to fall off and that you will come to knowledge of the truth of the Gospel. I hope this helped...God Bless you !

That you voted and worked for Obama in 2008>

Have you ever shaken lava in a martini shaker? have you ever put anchovies on a pizza? have you ever listened to the jonas bros for more than ten minutes in one sitting? all these things will look good on your resume in hell.

Too late. The position is filled. Just as long as I fail the drug test, I'm in!... shouldn't be too difficult.

But, we have your number and we'll call you if something opens up.

It is so simple to know Christ. In doing so, Hell is sure to turn you down. We all have our shortfalls and no-one is here to judge.