So here’s the thing, I’m confused. I love my husband but I found emails a month after we got married from him to some tranny’s stating that he was a top and that he wanted to group bang another transsexual. He cried told me that he had been raped when he was younger then went on to tell me that his previous gf of 3 years with whom he had a child knew he’d emailed them before and it wasn’t an issue, he also told me on another occasion and that night called his mom to tearfully say he was bisexual when I referenced this he said he didn’t tell he that although he’d told me he told her that out of his mouth and told me that his mother suspected he was. So one day I asked him again why had he done that if as he told me had only fantasized about it and thought of it because it had been done to him with out his mothers knowing at 10. When I bought it up again he told me he was heavily using E pills which I beg to differ because on this particular email dated March 7th he had spent the previous day (my birthday and morning) with me. I don’t know what to think since none of these are definitive answers and I just want the cold hard truth from him. I love him and know that he’s been faithful to my knowledge since marriage we’ve both been tested but I’m concerned he isn’t and wasn’t honest with me about the extent of the situation. What should I do?
Update:the year prior to dating and marriage he did take epills and was seeing women....
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
hes a freak--- move on if you can't deal with it
That is a huge secret to keep from your spouse. It would devestate me and I would file for divorce. He not only has these fantasies but also pursues them. It is a disaster waiting to happen. I don't know if he will do it but he is into men! He may love what you offer but is not showing you he cares for you the same. He is going behind your back and trying to justify it. He is lying and you know it and he is making up excuses. The problem is that he built his marriage on lies. how can you possibly ever trust him or feel like you are the only one anymore. He said you were while he was searching for a man to sleep with. I feel very sorry for you and hope you find the strength to do what is best for you emotional health. He needs therapy and to fix this together you both will. If you love him enough to accept this huge lifestyle lie he has brought to your bedroom, then try to fix it. Trust can be rebuilt but this is not just trust it is deeper. He has serious emotional issues and they will not go away. Sexuality is not just trust issue here it is a lifestyle. Just like people who do and don't want children. It is pretty much irreconsilable. This is your warning so whatever happens now is your fault. You remain in a situation you know is destructive to you emotional well being then you are not a victim anymore. Think about this before you have kids with this man!
I'm sorry you're confused and worried. This is definitely something that the two of you need to figure out. If your husband was sexually abused, he needs to see a counselor so that he can find healing in his life. It certainly sounds like that pain is still with him. And it would be a good idea for you to see a therapist together, as well. A trained counselor should be able to help you work through these issues.
In the meantime, you may find this articles series from Focus on the Family to be helpful. They have counselors that will talk to you by phone, as well. Here are the links: http://bit.ly/15Mb5uO and http://bit.ly/10l0p2m. Blessings to you!
Yeah, this is heart break-en because its like you are living a lie, and did not even know it, you may have to get a divorce sooner, unless you are willing to except that he is bisexual, if you are not gonna leave him, see if he will get help. I hope you make the right decision, keep your health and life in mind.
What you should do, I don't know. What I would do though if I were you, leave. That's way too much misinformation on his part, and regardless of what he has it hasn't been through, it's wrong and he should just be single... Unless if course you really want to help him.
I blew a tranny once. I took it to Aamco and they fixed it for like $800.
sounds like a tranny 3-some is in order.
Get a strap on and add to the mix...