My fiancé and I are expecting however he wants the baby more than I do. I am a 24 year old college student and was working part time at a club making good money (which I also consider my social life). Being that’s he’s a much older man, divorced, and has a child- he’s also very capable of taking care of us completely & financially. His family is very unsupportive which makes this decision more uncomfortable.. He doesn’t want to try again later on and wants me to keep this and won’t forgive me if I abort it. We’ve only been engaged for 1 year- I love him, I’m very secured with him but I’m not sure if I’m ready yet or think he’s the one
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Answers & Comments
To be honest, I REALLY think you should get an abortion. Like STRONGLY. And here is why.
First, you're in college. Your career and life hasn't started yet, but that's not even my primary concern. What concerns me the most is his attempted dominance over you and your life. Does he care about your education? Career? Your happiness? And "doesn't want to try again later?"
Why would he "not want to try again later?" That sounds manipulative, and frankly, it sounds like bullshit. He's not giving up anything from this pregnancy. He's an old man with a lot of money and will enjoy a baby. You're giving up your career, job, social life, and said you're not even sure if he's the one? What are you doing?
I think you should get an abortion. If he doesn't forgive you then at least you have your independence, life, and can find a better husband later on.
Given your doubts, you should recognize the likely impact on any prospective child and act accordingly.
Honey if you’re not ready then don’t have a baby and if he wants to baby so much off or hinted to adopt a baby and you share parent rights if you want to and if you’re not sure he’s not the one then you definitely don’t want to start parenting with him and have a baby with somebody you’re unsure that you want to be was because then that causes dysfunctional relationship that can mess up a child
Most men want the baby as long as the wife looks after it. Some men see the baby as a prison warden to keep the wife unable to escape. As you are not married he doesn't actually get a say in what you choose. You have been engaged for a year though so you have already accepted that he is the one. Having a much older husband who already has a child makes the situation far more complex. You are giving up your youthful freedom he gives up nothing. Perhaps you are ready to be a mother. Perhaps not. For YOU there is a limit to how many children you can have. If you have this one then there is one other in the future that you won't have. The most important issue is if you can or cannot make a good mother to a child right now. If not then don't have it. If you CAN make a good mother then you must choose if the various downsides of an abortion are worth the benefits. He might not forgive you and break off the engagement. Which would leave you free to find a better future husband.
There are many factors but quite commonly a woman could never be ready for motherhood until the hormones kick in and she changes. There is such a change to one's life that it is almost impossible to comprehend. None of this may help but do not feel guilty whatever you do. No one else has to have the baby so they are not entitled to judge your choices. YOU must weigh them all up and decide, on balance, what is the best choice.
Of course you should! Consider the Consequences:
A 2004 research study of 331 Russian and 217 American women who had an induced abortion revealed that about half of both groups felt bad after the abortion. Nearly 50 percent of the Russians and almost 80 percent of the Americans felt “guilt” over the procedure. More than 60 percent of the American women were ‘unable to forgive themselves.’
This regret often centers on the question: Did the abortion terminate a life that already existed? A report by the South Dakota Task Force to Study Abortion concluded that many pregnant women considering an abortion “were misled into thinking that nothing but ‘tissue’ was being removed, and relate that they would not have had an abortion if they were told the truth.”
After an evaluation of the “stunning and heart-wrenching testimony” of 1,940 women who had abortions, the study concluded: “Many of these women are angered by grief at the loss of a child they were told never existed.” It also stated that “the psychological harm of knowing she killed her child is often devastating.”
But what is the truth? Does an abortion merely remove some tissue from a pregnant woman’s body? Is an unborn child actually a living person while in the womb?
If you want to know more feel free to see the source below.