My wife and I are happily married with 6 children. I have a 19 year old son from a previous marriage. And we took in my wife’s brother after their father passed away; he was under 18 at the time. My wife also has two daughters from a previous marriage, whom I raised as my own. And we have a son and daughter together. My son and brother and in law are both currently in University. And my two older girls are on the verge of adolescence. My wife would like to start trying for another child even though our youngest is only one. I on the other hand would not like anymore children. I am already 50 and feel after six I’ve done my job. When I brought up the age factor with my wife she said that our son is one, so I am going to be 70 and have children in University whether we have another one or not. I already feel like I do not have the energy to play with my youngest like I did with the oldest. My wife is 38 and still has plenty energy. Should I succumb to my wife’s need for another child even though I don’t feel up to it?
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It seems to me you're approaching retirement age. Who wants to be raising kids then?
I think you've done enough, and it's time to call it a day.
As a woman, I understand the desire to have babies, and as your youngest gets older, I can see why she might want another, but she has to overcome that.
You need to tell her that you're tired, and you don't want to deny a child a father who can play with him, or have people confuse him for your grandson. You need to tell her that you have had six blessings between you, and that to ask for more is selfish.
This is a very personal question with no easy answer...but there are some factors that come to mind you might want to rethink. 1. Your wife is still well within childbearing age, is it fair for you to deny her another child if she is willing to do the bulk of the baby care? Explain that you are older and she will have to do the getting up at night and chasing of the toddler because you just lack the physical stamina. If she still wants another than don't worry about that. 2. She is right, you will be raising children another 20-odd years either way 3. If your daughters are pre-teens than your current baby will essentially grow up as if he or she is an only child, is that what you want for him/her? Is your "I don't feel like it" really so important to you that you would cause your wife and youngest child to have a less than ideal life? 4. Can you reasonably afford to raise another child with a decent standard of living? 5. You don't need to be able to run around all day to be a good father, think of some lower energy things to do with your young kids, like reading to them or taking them fishing, watching their sports games from the stands (like most other parents do anyway) etc.
This is a serious debate that both of you need to sit down and really talk about. weigh out all the pros and cons, all of your feelings, and listen to hers too. she might feel your side of this question and decide she doesnt' want more kids. Grandkids aren't really that far away for you guys - Only a few more years if your oldest is 19. But, you might also see her points of view, and change your mind.
It is possible that she wants another child for reasons that some needs are not being met, not because she really wants another kid. Keep in mind that down syndrome babies are more likely, the older the parents are. 38 is pushing an older age to be having babies.
This is not the debate for Yahoo Answers, you need to make a date night and really talk to your wife about it.
Ideally, this should have been discussed before now, but... I take your side. Your wife is being selfish; 6 kids is plenty! You took on her two kids, plus her brother, and you've had two together, even... I'd say you've paid your dues, and now it's time to enjoy the children that you already have, and relax a little. (As much as one can relax with a 1-year-old!) It seems like your wife is one of those who always wants to have another baby... I suspect she'd even want another, if you did agree to have 'one more.'
I say, no! She needs to think long term. She may have energy now but what about in 5 or 10 years. Kids need a lot of attention and I think after a certain time we deserve to have our children grown and out of the house and have time to focus on ourselves and our partner.
Sounds like your wife is having those perimenopausal cravings. If you don't want a kid, tell her honestly that NO, you're done, that parenting should be a mutual decision, and you've mutuallly raised/are raising SIX kids, and six is enough.
Tell her you "don't feel up to it." Tell her you don't want to leave her a widow with infants--that'll get her off having babies and on worrying about your health (hey, it's a trade off).
Good luck--don't be bullied.
Talk to your wife and share your feelings with her. If you don't want more children, you should not have to have any more, but it is important that you understand her feelings.
Uh, no. I think 6 kids is enough.
Your wife needs to find a hobby!
Sweet merciful god no. Not only would it be unfair to the child if you don't have the energy to properly participate in his/her childhood, you're above and beyond your quota for spawnlings.
Talk to your wife about how you feel and maybe compromise somehow. How old is your wife?