So my mom is in the process of getting a divorce from my narcissist father who has caused emotional damage to our family throughout the years. The divorce is not completely final but my mom seems to think it is. I did something any daughter would do and SNOOPED around because she was acting weird and her “gym” times seemed to be extending. Came to the conclusion that she’s been fooling around with a 27-28 year old, sending pics, messages, and meeting up. Now I completely understand that she’s been emotionally/physically alone for a very long time because of how my dad was. So I understand how she’s probably feeling right now. What’s bothering me is if this actually gets serious. She seems to have feelings for him but by their messages he doesn’t seem to be as engaged as her and she obviously doesn’t see that right now. My biggest fear is her actually considering a REAL future with this guy. I’ve never had a real father figure in my life and I would like to. My dream is for my mom to eventually marry a wonderful man that can finally be the father our family has never had. And I can’t have my step dad be a couple years older than me. Maybe I’m thinking way too ahead but I’m really paranoid. I can’t take holding it in anymore, but I’m way too embarrassed to bring this up to her. I hate his guts for using her (for her body only) at a time when she’s so vulnerable. I just need some guidance right now, even if it’s from strangers. Thanks
I’m 22 btw so I’m disgusted
Answers & Comments
its her choice, i would just ignore it
You need to get over yourself... Your mother doesn't need to provide you a "father figure", she needs to be happy. And you need to stop being so immature about this, you can't just sneak on your mom
Just leave your mom alone. He probably has a big stiff fat tool she really admires. She probably likes to ride him into the sunset
You need to say some things to your Mother … it will be hard for you - but she needs to hear them .. she may not like it but your words will stay in her.
Tell her that she is married to your dad - until the second she is divorced.
Tell her that you can tell this guy is not "into" her - like she is him.
Be honest - if you are embarrassed by her dating this younger guy - tell her.
Explain to her that some special person is out-there for her … after she is really divorced.
Stress to her how upset .. worried .. about her .. and how much you love her.
She needs to hear it all … your words could cause her to catch-a-snap.
You're old enough now to choose for yourself what kind of mentor you'd like to have. You choose your mentor for yourself. You don't need to worry about what kind of relationship your mother gets into, regarding having a father figure. Choose wisely. It doesn't have to be a man, or any certain age. Choose someone wise, empathetic, & principled. And leave your mother alone, unless & until she asks for your input.
NOT YOUR BUSINESS
It won't get serious. She's having fun and he's making her feel happy and sexy and alive again. It won't last.
And it's none of your business anyway. Back off and focus on your own stuff.
Good for her
I think it's your mom's decision to make regarding her getting into a serious relationship with someone. The guy who she is interested in is an adult just like yourself, and your mother.
I believe it's your mother's choice to make regarding who she wants to be with.
I think it's a shame someone would want to use your mom, for only her body, but like I said above she is an adult, and I believe she has a mind of her own.
Most daughters DO NOT snoop around in parents private affairs.
It is none of your business. Do not interfere, and stop thst childish snooping.