My husband insists I have nothing to worry about, but his 23 year old secretary has her sights set on him and I’m concerned it’s not as harmless as he claims. The girl flirts with him in front of my face. Every time I go to his office I notice she’s wearing inappropriately short skirts and low cut tops. She’ll come into the office while I’m in there and make herself obvious in some way and sometimes she’ll even say things about my outfit like, my mother has those same shoes or where did you get that top, I think my mom would love it, obviously to make me feel like I’m old enough to be her mother, which I’m not really. I’m 38 so I would have had her when I was 15 in that case. I want to ask my husband to fire her but I don’t think he will consider it. How else could I handle this?
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If you love your husband and he loves you then you just have to find a way to get under her skin. My friend's friend will always make comments like this to me and I find a way to get a jab back in at her. I would look at her and say, "Are those back in? We used to wear those in the 80's." Talk about your degree and education, or anything that you have, that she doesn't have. She is trying to bring you down to her level because you have the man that she wants, so understanding where she is coming from is a way to get at her. If you have kids, show her their new pictures and say, "Doesn't Bobby Jr. look just like his dad?" This will drive her crazy and it will make your dad. If you feel there may be something going on between them, this is a different story. Pay attention to signs and see if he works later than usual, wants more or less sex from you, than usual, etc. I hired a P.I. to find out my ex was cheating. If you suspect he is, then I'd do the same.
As long as he doesn't go along with it, then you are good. Don't pay attention to that hoe, she's jealous.
It is a sticky situation. If your husband loves you he should take your feeling more seriously. He shouldn't tolerate what you describe. He can ask her to dress modestly, and watch out her behavior, or even move her to another position in the company. If he loves you he will pay attention to your feeling.
This is a very sad story, because it means you married a man you don't trust. That was an odd decision on your part! It also means you don't have a job yourself - you should get one. It also means you compare yourself to other women, and that means your self-esteem is low. Lots of sadness in this story!
It take 2 to dance
I mean if she flirts with your husband that mean he is flirting with her
plus she as enough guts to humiliate you
it as to stop
HOW ?
You warn your husband to FIRE HER
or he is facing a divorce
Do not wait to act ;; because its better to cut the [ affair m] in the bud
I hope they had just flirt
but tonight ;;yes tonight ;; talk to your husband
and do not be shy to put your foot down
This situation is NOT acceptable
I am 74
married for 50 yrs [[ lots of life experience
If you trust your husband, there's nothing to worry about. If you don't trust your husband, them marriage counseling is in order or your marriage will end, whether he's got a hoochie office assistant or not.
Next time she compares your attire to her mom's. reply with something like "Thank you. Your mother has really good taste. You should ask her to give you some pointers." (and smile sweetly) In other words, turn those comments around so that it appears you're taking them as compliments, and then continue with a veiled reproach for her style choices.
Don't suggest he fire her, unless it's for not performing her job well. For all you know if he fired her, someone just like her (or worse) could be next. Fight fire with fire, but never behave as though you're jealous or insecure. Behave as though you know your husband would never be interested in a trollop like her. He's got more class and integrity than that, right?
EDIT: You fooled me. I didn't notice your acct was created today, which made it VERY likely your post was fake. The link below is to the question from 4 years ago, that you copied from another member. I sure wish Y!A would get CM fixed. *sigh*
Speak directly to her. Shoot her down. When she says her mom would like what you are wearing, That shows your mother has good taste, Perhaps you should take some pointers from her. When she sees she isn't getting to you and is getting insulted in the process, she'll back off. And you need to trust your husband.
She has zero office etiquette. Might not even be about you or your husband. A secretary who plays fashion police with her boss' WIFE is simply an idiot who has no clue how to conduct herself.
So my guess is that she flirts with ALL the men there because she doesn't know how else to talk to men. She dresses like she does at work because that's how ALL her clothes are. She's young. Not all bosses are suckers for secretaries.
One approach is to solicit his opinion about the inappropriate behavior and remarks you've witnessed. If you do this in an inquisitive way, as opposed to accusatory, there is a chance that he'll reach the same conclusion you have and be persuaded to take action. Short of that, there is probably nothing you can do that wouldn't stiffen his resistance and make matters worse.