Well my fiancé and I have known each other for about 6 months, we have been exclusive (dating) for about 3 months; well this may sound a little crazy but were convinced were ready to get married, were buying a house together in November. Now there is an age difference, he is 31 and I am 22 he is well off and very successful, and I am a CNA making $15 an hour working full time, and going to college to transition to a pediatric nurse. I think we're doing pretty good so far! :) Long story short, one of his female friends text him out of nowhere the other day and he was so excited to tell her that he was getting married, his friend seemed pretty excited as well; when she asked how long we had known each other his response was "I'm to ashamed to say "(with a sad face) then he told her we had been dating for 3 months and asked her "is that to soon" the friend just said "that's up to you..." So he started going on telling her how much I make him happy, and how beautiful I am etc. The only thing that worried me is he admitted that he was ashamed to say, it shocked me because he makes it seem like he's so ready to get married, he can't wait... And he's always going inline having me look at rings. What should I do?
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give up youre done... ethisions 5:1
The success of playing house/iving together/spending your life together is not measured by your combined incomes, it is measured by how you live together as a couple. The very things that you share, bills, chores, space, those things are day to day things you will find you either are compatible about or you're not. If you have the foundations of a relationship figured out- trust, mutual respect, integrity, communication, you're ready to commit to someone for a lifetime.
It's something you'd n eed to talk to each other about anyway because if you can't talk about these things now then it's going to be a problem down the road. Talk about if he thinks it's; too soon. It's so expensive to get a divorce anyway, especially when you will have a house in both your names and sort out who gets what. So many reasons to take your time making that commitment and really no reason to rush. Can't think of one good reason at all to rush into buying a house with someone - especially since you have only known each other for 6 months period- let alone actually living with someone for 6 months first to have a trial run first.
My analogy: you can't move into a great looking house with great appliances and floors etc, discover the foundation is rotted, and try and piecemeal it back together while you're still living in it. Or think that it will fix up over time. No. Y ou have to start from scratch and start with a solid foundation. If you had the other stuff going for you great, then it will fall back into place. Foundation has to come first though.
Really trust me, it's a million good reasons to wait, get to know each other better, live together and play house before sharing a mortgage (really messy to deal with that when things are over). It's insurance that you'll have a lifetime of healthy relationship. And when you take your time that way, there will not be any reason on his part to feel ashamed or on your part.
Finances are one of the top 2 relationship killers.
Have a long engagement. I rarely recommend that but I nearly always do when near strangers decide to get engaged. He's embarrassed because he knows better.
You're right, it is a little crazy to be convinced you are ready to get married when you didn't know each other 6 months ago. So, if he ever actually buys you a ring, set the date for two years after you met (not a day sooner) and then see if it happens. You've got the time, take it.
I think you need to point out, you're both hard working adults, not irresponsible teenagers. That you two have fallen in love and are indeed, marrying within this next year...Big deal. Three months you've known one another/dating another 3 months/ and in another 3 months, buying a home together and getting married - probably all within a one year if not a little later period. I don't think this is so unusual, particularly? In your circumstances.
IF you feel Brittany, he is in any way UNCERTAIN, you can certainly open the conversation that perhaps you two should wait until AFTER the New Year to purchase a home together...Giving you a bit more time, but it sounds to me? Like you both know what you want. I think you should let him know, however, put it into the terms that I have...That this just hasn't occurred "overnight" and ask him if he has any reservations (citing this example in conversation with a friend) you're open to waiting longer for him to feel 100% comfortable. Then see what he say's.
I think Brittany? He's going to stumble and say, "oh I didn't mean it, I was just hesitant with this friend in speaking" or some such remark...I really do, for it sounds like he really KNOWS what he wants and DOES love you...But do have the gentle conversation dear, okay? It will ease your mind and heart...
Grace
It seems like a failed marriage waiting ot happen, you dont really know someone well enough to marry them after 6 months.. most high school relationships are more then that ! Why are you guys in such a rush? He's probably ashamed because its not a good, idea, its on of those things you'll look back on and be like why did i do that?
Why are you in such a rush i dont get it, just live together for a bit and see how it goes from there, give it more then 3 months of being together. Im 16 and i even think thats a bad idea
Never ever ever buy a house with someone till you are married. And you are very foolish to marry him when you have gone together only 3 months. You two don't even really know each other yet.
You both should be ashamed to be talking about marriage this soon. And please---do not buy a house together till you are married. In a couple of years. If you are still together.
Keep your insecure shorts on. This is no big deal. He sounds as if he's committed to the relationship and marriage so that is all you should think about. He probably just doesn't want anyone to tell him he's moving ahead to soon so he blocks that by not talking about how long ago the relationship began. You'll have more things to worry about..like the wedding. This is making a mountain out of a molehill.
Oooft. That's odd. All I can say is 'trust your gut'
Why don't you ask him this question??? Maybe he was joking to his friend??? Or said it sarcastically?? I dunno ask him woman!!!
its not that big of a deal.......