last night, i called it off with my girlfriend. she’s got a bad case of ex-boyfriend-itis and refuses to admit it. the evidence that she brings with her is so apparent, idk how i even lasted for this long (5 months). she finds flaws in things that i say, mistakes that seemingly take an analysis to pick out of a sentence. it’s like she’s searching for a reason to push me away. i know she tries to be happy with me. i can feel the genuine feelings that she has, but the cold, harsh, brutal reality is that she’s still not over her ex-boyfriend. she puts minimal effort into this relationship. she posts sad songs about heartbreak on her tumblr and quotes from songs about heartbreak. she’s never happy, anymore. i ask her why and try to console her..she tells me it’s because of emotional baggage that she’s been carrying her entire life. she feels this way because she doesn’t feel the same rush, energy and butterflies that she felt with her ex. i feel like a failure. like i’m incompetent. 2nd best. trampled on. taken for granted and taken advantage of. used. so last night, i called it quits. was this the best decision? it’s hard to walk away like this when things are so uncertain about how she truly feels. however, i feel like i deserve the same reciprocation of feelings, care and affection that i’ve been giving her.

also, i'm kind of lonely living in this city. most of my friend's have transferred to colleges and are about to graduate, while i'm still living going to school here in our hometown. i kind of want to be friends with her, just to have some type of companionship in my life. i feel like i can her friend, but not her counterpart. is this possible?or is this something i should avoid altogether? thanks

i feel like she feels this way because she doesn't feel the same rush, energy and butterflies that she felt with her ex****