I have been with my wife for almost 13 years. Married for 3 years. She has an identical twin sister. For the first few years of our relationship we were at odds. Arguing and bickering. But for the past 3 or 4 years we have grown close and are very comfortable being around one another. She spends a great deal of time with her sister and I. Since last December, I have noticed that I have started looking at her differently. Started fantasizing about her in many ways...and even started dreaming about being married to both of them, or at least being with them in a domestic capacity. I came to realize that I am in love with both of them equally. And recently the sister has started seeing a new guy and it hurts my heart so much to even think about them...not being her only guy in her life. My question is what do I do? Do I keep it to myself and suffer? Do I tell the sister how I feel and risk our relationship? Do I tell both of them and risk both relationships and my marriage?
Answers & Comments
oh man twins! I would be trying to get THAT 3some!!!!
Keep it to yourself.
Never allow yourself to fantasize (yes - you can control those fantasies if you want to).
Never tell any one .. especially the 2 sisters.
You would create a bad situation by telling them.
You have a wife - you have a marriage -- let the sister GO and find her own happiness .. just leave her alone.
What you do is live your life with your wife -- stop those fantasies .. and stop trying to be anything to your sister-in-law .. and yes keep it to yourself.
You made vows to your wife. You gave yourself and your heart to her. Your mind should be on your wife, not on her sister. You are thinking about her too much. Thoughts aren’t always harmless. You are giving into the feelings you have for your wife’s sister. This is not okay. You should have stopped them earlier on and not fed into them. It will probably be more difficult to stop your habitual thinking of her, but you can’t keep going on that way. You are cheating in your mind. Wishing to break the vows you made to your wife. That’s not okay. You should be devoted to your wife, building that relationship up and being devoted to your marriage. Don’t be an idiot and throw that all away because you also caught feelings for someone else. Your wife became “the one” when you said “I do”. She is you’re partner for life, until you die. You chose her!!! You have to nip those feelings for her sister in the bud. Even if I find myself having feelings for someone else, I kill those feelings straight away because I am dedicated to my husband and I want him to do the same for me. Don’t be stupid. Use your brain.
If you have your wife, why do you fantasize with her identical twin? Like what do you think the twin has that your wife doesn't? Could it be you love your wife that much that you subconsciously mean you would marry her again? But one thing is for sure, if you love your wife, don't risk your marriage for a fantasy or you are going to lose both!
Tell your wife you want to have a threesome with her and her sister
You are extremely lucky that your sister in law did not rock the boat your marriage. She sure could have easily done that. Big mistake to confess your feelings to her.
What to do now? Nothing. Move on. Leave twin sister alone. And, keep your marriage going. You got lucky that nothing blew up. But it still could in the future. Should never have gone confessing. Move on. Leave everything alone.
Gently encourage the twin sister to spend as much time as possible with that new man. "Out of sight, out of mind"
Just enjoy the candy, don't hanker after the candy shop.
If you say anything about this, you’re going to ruin your relationship with your wife and her sister. If you say nothing, it’ll hurt but you can get over this if you really want to.
However, I’m assuming you don’t want to get over this, in which case I think it’s time to let them both go
Some things are better a fantasy than a reality. Doesnt seem like twin sister returns your feelings so best to keep it to yourself than risk losing the last 13 yrs of your life.
"And recently the sister has started seeing a new guy and it hurts my heart so much to even think about them...not being her only guy in her life. "
OK, here is the deal. Some women, believe it or not...would be OK with sharing one man between two (or more) women. The problem is, the women who think this way are literally one in a million. What are the odds that two sisters would each be one in a million, in the exact same way? 1 in 1 trillion.
Any move you make involves a certain amount of risk. As the saying goes, no risk...no reward. However, in your case...
Only a fool would play those odds!!!
If you make a play for the sister, you end up losing your wife. Again, there is literally a 1 in 1 trillion chance of it working out in your favor. To look at it another way, the odds are 999,999,999,999 out of 1 trillion that if you make a move, it ends VERY BADLY FOR YOU.