Listen I know some people will question me about writing this post but I wrote it because I really want to be a better person and I really don´t know what to do, so please understand and if possible, help because I am really desperate.
Ever since I have memory, I have had trouble concentrating. I mean when I am eating, my mind will suddenly divagate into something or anything at all and when I notice, 15 minutes have already passed.
It can get as bad as I lose total concentration of what I do. For example, if I am walking by the street I´d start thinking about a song or about something else and when I notice, I have already walked three or four blocks and I have no recollection of walking those blocks... Is like, my mind gets gridlocked. Sometimes I am in my house, and all of the sudden I will just stop at any place in particular (in front of a wall, for example) and just start staring for a looonng while until I react and I actually have to tell myself "dude, move! you have stuff to do!" and only that makes me keep on walking.
Generally, people will think and mention "it´s charming" that I am always the last finishing my meal or stuff like that but I don´t like being like that.
I am really a hard worker... I don´t mind working for hours and I have been complimented for that by my peers and people I work with. I mean, when I really focus myself I get LOTS of work done (sometimes I would be divagating for hours but in one hour I get a huge amount of the work done).
And even though some people say "just focus", to me is just soooooo hard to get the engines running (if you know what I mean). It doesn´t come naturally to me. Plus, my work involves a big amount of creativity (I love it) and this "numbness" definitely interferes with creativity.
What can I do? I am open to anything... Exercises, treatment, etc.... Please help! I really am trying to be a better person and is a shame that a thing like this makes me less effective...
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You're describing symptoms of dissociation - the experience of having one's attention and emotions detached from the environment.
The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality - rather than a loss of realty as in psychosis.
Mild dissociation can include daydreaming, more pathological dissociation involves dissociate disorders including dissociative fuge and depersonalizaiton disorder, with or without amnesia; and/or fragmenting identity or self into separate streams of consciousness such as complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder.