So I’m 19 years old I’m about to be 20 in September. Me and my bf have been together for around 9 months and pretty much already lived together for the majority of our relationship while I was at college. My parents pay for everything. (College, rent, my phone bill, etc) I’ve already told them I wanted to move out and they said they will cut me off financially and cut all ties off with me completely. Ive never had a good relationship with my mom but my dad is easily one of my best friends and he was disappointed when I told him I wanted to move out. My rent is up in late July and if I move in with my bf it’ll save them 300 bucks a month but they’re super religious and my mom hates my boyfriend with a passion. How do I tell my parents that I want to move out
Answers & Comments
Your parents are smart. They are trying to protect you. You are only 19 and not mature enough to have a live in boyfriend. And, you can get pregnant.
If you want your parents to continue paying for your college then you listen to your parents. HUGE mistake to move in with this 20 year old. Wait until you graduate college to move in with anyone.
I am not religious. But your mom is right. She is trying to protect you.
You said you ALREADY told them: "I’ve already told them I wanted to move out"
I don't understand why you're asking for advice on how to do something that is already done.
As I assume you are already renting ( funded by parents), you're used to having your own place and freedom of choice. You've already 'moved out' but I guess it doesn't feel like this to your parents, they pay for everything so maybe they think you would go back to them after college, and that they have a say in who you spend time with, what you do with your life?. It's hard for parents sometimes, to understand their 'child' is moving into adulthood.
Your immediate challenge could be income to pay your way, as you will need to make a contribution to the new household- time to get your resume together.If your parents cut off all their financial support, will you be able to manage? Eg . is your phone contract in your name, do you have a bank account in your own name only etc?
How to handle your parents- clearly you want to ' fly the nest', your parents are very important in your life financially but you may want to keep love with them, especially your father if you feel he is more likely to be open to listening. Try to talk with him about how you want to move into adulthood, and would really appreciate his help to become independent. You can only hope that your mom will open up to you.
They have NO responsibility to pay for anything. You are over 18. You are a adult, and on your own. They owe you nothing.
just come right out and tell them
Just simply move, it's your life to live.
The hardest thing most kids go thru is learning that they are in control of their own life when they become an adult. THEIR PROBLEM of not accepting you and your decisions should not dictate how you live your life.
You're young, you have plenty of time to figure out if what you're doing is right for you or wrong.
Good luck
I don't think you've known him long enough- what is going to happen if the two of you break up and you have no place to go? But if you're sure, you have to either figure out how to pay for things without your parents, or give up on college and get a job. I know it's appealing to "play house"- but if you're left without a place to live and no college education, you're going to really regret this decision. That's from a strictly practical point of view.
You don't tell them. Just do it. Look for a job while you're at it. You'll need it.