I've known ft fiancée for over 15yrs. We dated all of high school but had a 10yr split before getting back together.
In the beginning things were amazing. He'd call, come over, text. We would even get together with his two girls and they'd come over. Well back in September he asked me to marry him & I said yes & thus the wedding plans began. They've been put on hold as we found out that we are expecting a little girl this June.
Things have changed drastically. I go days sometimes weeks without a text/call and getting him to come over is like pulling teeth. I have a DVD of our unborn child in 3d and have asked him for months to come ands watch it but he never does. I asked why and he says that he doesn't have much time. He does work the night shift but in the beginning always made time to visit or call or something. Now if I want to hear from him I have to call & he doesn't communicate with me the way he use to.
I'm worried that he wont be there for our daughter. But I don't want to marry him when he's being so cold to me. He refuses to watch the DVD of our daughter, says he's too busy with work, but he managed to sign up to play with a local semi pro football team where we live.
How am I supposed to deal with his lack of support and get ready for our daughter? How can I get him to see/understand that I need him or should I just let go and raise our daughter alone.
*Apologize for typos
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
For one, you don't owe him any explanation. It sounds like you are doing just fine already preparing to raise your daughter. If you feel insecure about raising a child alone, consider getting help from family and friends. I hate to say this, but it really sounds like things aren't going to work out with you two. It really sounded romantic that you guys were old sweethearts who reunited and perhaps that's just what you were holding onto, old romance. In the midst of all this, you guys have created a child, which could probably be scary to him, etc. I don't think he's serious with that proposal or with helping you raise your daughter. If he's too busy to watch an ultrasound, he's definitely going to be too busy to change diapers and teach your little girl how to walk, etc.
Go ahead and take off that ring, take charge and prepare to join the league of Super Moms that do it all on their own. You won't be alone and there's plenty of resources that are available to help you.
Good Luck!
Let him know that you need him and his time and support. Also you need to understand that you are not his whole world he has shut to do and wants to have fun and everyone deserves that but still make sure he give you equal time. Express this to him openly without hidden messages just go out and say it. Also I wouldn't want to watch that either that stuff is not pleasant and I would never watch it in 3d that's disgusting.
Honestly let go and raise your daughter alone. He is probably scarred and confused. When he changes well its when he decides to change so worry about your self and kid. And don't let him ruin it
well, if your going to marry the guy, 1) you need to be able to talk to him about anything, so just sit him down and tell him how you feel. 2) do you think he's going to change once you get married? he definitley wont unless you do the first thing and let him know how you feel, so just do it, sit down and talk to him.
At this point it seems like you are stuck