So I have had suicidal thoughts for 6 years now they started when i had extreme anxiety but i never told my many doctors and this is the first time I am "saying" it out loud. I am not depressed as far as I know but I always thought what would it feel like to just kill myself. But just now I decided to ask this because I went into my kitchen to get a drink and I drank a whole water bottle and a voice in my head said " look at those knives you know you can just stab yourself right now right in your heart and go peacefully with your cats next to you" this scared me and thats why I'm asking if I should take this as my real warning sign because I don't want to die but I can't controll myself in these situations. It took all my might to look away from the knife and come into my room to ask this question. I'm surprisingly calm except really shakey but I don't know what to do so please HELP. I don't know what I'll end up doing to myself.