Hi! I just wanted a public opinion on this, there’s no wrong answers but I just wanna hear you guys.
So a bit of backstory: I have been dating this girl for almost a year now, I really love her and I could definitely see a future between us so far (I’m 22). I have a friend group that I’ve known since elementary school and they are my closest friends so we’re very tightly knit.
The question is, how much time do I spend with each?? I want to maintain the balance of friends/girlfriend/school/family/work and I want to know if my method right now is fair.
I told my girlfriend (call her G) that I spend one day on the weekend with the guys and one day with her. I see her every day at some point and I see my friends around 3/4 times a week usually at 8pm.
Is that fair??? I feel like G has given me hints that I spend “a lot of times with [my] friends” and I don’t know where to compromise...
Thanks!
Answers & Comments
It's pretty normal to spend less time with your friends once you're in a romantic relationship. If you're 22 and busy building a career like you're supposed to be at that age yet you still see your friends 3/4 times a week you've got more energy than most people. That's a lot of social engagement. But one would think you could cut your friends back to 2/3 times a week and spend that other day with your girlfriend.
If you are planning a future together, she must come first. But you could go in a group, including her and them
While I really believe that couples should have other friends, and interests that they don't share as well as interests that they do, seeing your friends 3-4 times a week sounds like a lot, especially in the evenings, when she probably wants you to be with her. I know guys who play basketball with friends one night a week, and then maybe on a weekend morning. Their wives/gfs might also get together with friends at those times, or do something on their own. If you ever have children, it becomes more complicated, but still workable. The happiest couples I know are those who do things like that with other people, but also have things they enjoy doing together.
Well if you are looking at her with long term implications then I think your friends should take a back seat, way back. Maybe a half a day for them and a day and a half for her. She could be someone you will love for the rest of your life, I never really loved my friends and I was the 1st 1 in our bunch to get married.