does god really exist??

i used to be a really hardcore christian, but lately i realized that my life has been a mess, i didnt do much to make it better, my mom hates me and unintentionally tries to make me feel like ****.... my point is, god really didnt help me to b a better person, my prayers r weak now and i feel stupid doing it because it nvr gets replyed, does god really exist? does he really wants me to b a better person, or doesn he just like to have fun watching how shitty my life is..

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