Hello I'm married and have 3 kids 2 with my wife and 1 in a previous relationhip. I have joint physical custody of my first child and Im thinking about going active duty in the military. The recruiter stated that when I comes to custody of my oldest, the military doesn't get involved unless the custody results in having to go to court. He stated that since I have a good relationship with the mother of my child and we have an agreement then I have nothing to worry about. However, my mother inlaw says that isn't true and that the military will most likely make me give custody to the mother and ill be put on child support. My question is that times have changed a lot and recruiters do lie but, I feel that my inlaw is just worried so can anyone give me a better understanding of what to expect before I continue the process? Thank you for any information you can provide
Update:Also I'm going for the army id figure I should specify that seeing how each branch is different
Answers & Comments
The military doesn't care
The military will not get involved with your custody issues. However, the custody agreement has no bearing on your orders. Therefore any visitation or child support changes will be altered based on your living situation.. being stationed elsewhere, etc.
Most states count BAH and Tricare benefits as income when calculating child support.
All expenses you incur with the new visitation arrangements would be out of pocket. Best you can hope for is to modify the custody agreement. For instance, splitting the difference when meeting up for instance. Taking the kid for the summers and every other holiday instead of every weekend.
All in all, as far as the military is considered, you are eligible to enlist as things stand now. Worst case scenario is you will require a waiver for having 4 dependents.. however. If you do not have a formal custody agreement with the ex, you need one.
What does your mil know about the military? Unless she was in it she knows nothing. The military can’t order child support, the only ones that can is there court system. With you having 4 dependents they can require a waiver for it. This is not something they would lie about. The child support order can be a good idea in some ways for then it protects you. If you were married to her when the first child was born it will not be an issue and the child will get immediate benefits. If you weren’t married they can require a DNA test to have the child listed as your dependent. The child will be eligible for Tricare medical, low cost dental, an ID card and limited access to base/post facilities. If the mother already has medical for the child then Tricare is secondary.