Verified answer

"But I just want to know what happened?"

He's abusing you. Someone doesn't have to hut you to "abuse" you, remember - abuse can be mental, verbal, emotional, psychological, etc.

"Like why is he different"

He's not "different" - this is just the Cycle of Abuse.

He acts sweet and nice to draw you in; then he starts testing you to see how far he can push you (little arguments, snide comments, short fights) and then he acts sweet to make you forgive him; then every time he gets nastier and nastier; then he acts sweet again to butter you up and make you forget; then it keeps going in a cycle.

And he "gaslights" you to place the blame on you, so that you feel like a crazy person and he convinces you that it's all your fault, and he'd be nicer to you if only you acted better, etc. Again, it's all part of the classic Cycle of Abuse.

He never magically changed. He wasn't a nice guy from the beginning. He just did a good job of hiding his true self from you, to draw you close and make you let your guard down. Once he saw that he had you, he revealed his true self because he was confident that you wouldn't go anywhere no matter how badly he treats you. That's what abusers do and that's how they choose their victims.

"and what the hell can I do to save this?"

Nothing. You cannot fix him or save him. You cannot fix or save the relationship. If he's abusing you then he's ALWAYS going to abuse you ... and the longer you stay, the more stuck you'll be.

He's shown you his true colors - he doesn't love YOU, he loves controlling and abusing you. He loves treating you like shiiiiit because it makes him feel like a big man. And if it wasn't you, sweetie, it'd be some other girl. Whatever girl he comes across first who will tolerate his bullshiiiiit.

You might love him, or more precisely you might love who you *think* he is or think he *could* be if only he was nicer to you. But that's not who he is, and this is not a loving relationship. If he truly loved you then he would not hurl insults at you, call you names, intentionally make you feel bad, and he would not threaten your job.

Anyone who truly loves you will do their best to lift you up and make you as happy as you make them ... fights and arguments are natural once in a while, but in a healthy relationship you come back after cooling off to communicate and apologize and figure out how to make it right.

"Everything you can think of other than anything physical (thank God) hopefully it doesn't get to that."

If your relationship has gotten to the point where you are simply grateful that he's not hitting you - and/or think that it's just a matter of time before he starts hitting you (which is entirely possible) - then surely you realize that this is not the kind of relationship that's healthy or loving.

You know the answer to this question - he's abusing you and he's not right for you, and you're not happy.

Break up with him. I PROMISE you that being single is not a problem, and being single is a thousand times better than being an abuser. You don't HAVE to be with a guy all the time, you know ... you should be with someone because they add positive things to your life, not just so you can have a man. If you're with someone mainly out of fear of being alone, then that is not love - it's desperation and it's a lack of self-esteem.

Break up with him. Get away from him. Block and ignore him. If you live with him, call a loved one (or a women's shelter/domestic violence group) for help if you need it. But PLEASE dump this loser and do not look back.

And consider getting into therapy, too, because you need to work on your own self-esteem if you think that any of this constitutes "love," or if you think that this is somehow the best you can do in life.

You've been dating for 10 months. Dating is the time in which two people get to really know each other - their likes and dislikes, and their individual quirks.

For your boyfriend, the bloom is wearing off the rose. He's finding little things about you that he doesn't like and that annoy him. It's nothing you've "done". It's not your fault, and it's not his fault. You two are going to break up sooner or later, and there's really nothing you can do to stop it or save your relationship. .He really doesn't want to end your relationship any more than you do, and he's "putting it off" somewhat by fighting with you (maybe hoping that things will "get better", and be like they were before).

It hurts when relationships, that started out so great, come to an end for no "reason" that you can put your finger on. But, that's why a couple dates - to find out if they are compatible enough to last over the long haul.

He silently pulled his feelings out of it. He wasn't fair to you. Let him go.

I'll tell you why he is acting like this but you wont like it.

He wants to break up with you, but he is too much of a coward to do it himself, so he hopes you will blow, and then dump him. He'll most likely turn around afterwards and blame you for it. Oh and it gets better, he'll play the part of the hard done by ex boyfriend afterwards too.

you put your best face on when you don't know people and your worst face on to your nearest and dearest

He's gone off you, so he's showing his true colours and not bothering to treat you decently anymore. Dump him.

Is he an alcoholic or drug addict? Sounds like he has some mental/emotional issues.

May be seeing the effects of consuming mind-altering drugs, or your boyfriend may just be a jealous, manipulative prick. It WILL become violent when you least expect it.