I am so so so overwhelmingly insecure about myself. And idk what to do about it... I can say out loud or to myself “You are beautiful. You are enough. You are perfect” every single day. And all it does is make me angry... the more I look at myself and try to convince myself that there’s nothing wrong with me the angrier I get... I literally break down in tears every time I’m out somewhere with my boyfriend and we see a female that I believe to be more attractive than me. Because I fear what goes through his head... him and I have had the arguments and the talks before. And. I trust him.. I keep telling myself that he doesn’t think the things that I do. That he doesn’t pick my body apart like I do and compare it to every single other female that I see. But even his compliments and him telling me that I am enough and that he loves me doesn’t help... it also just kinda makes me angry... and. I just get so ******* frustrated because I would give anything to be able to be confident with myself... to be able to see another pretty female and NOT feel so overwhelmingly intimidated... but I just can’t... I even made myself delete Facebook because I would get on it and stalk all these girls that I could only dream of looking like... and his ex’s... I can’t bring myself to believe that my guy could possibly look at me and be happy after the past girls that he’s been with. I just don’t know what else to do... I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep and getting so angry.. someone help...
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
If you try to consciously feed yourself a message that contradicts your subconscious beliefs, it will not sink it .. it will be rejected . .like skipping a stone across the water. You cannot just say things that contradict. And that is usually why they recommend talking with a therapist. But I understand the financial restrictions of therapy.
So, I can only give you a few tips.
First of all, look beneath your anger ... anger is an attempt to hide our hurt. But it solves nothing. Look AT your hurt, and physically and emotionally and deliberately RELAX while you do this (relax the muscles, breathe slowly and evenly).
And understand that the more we resist our inner pain, the more it hurts.
Your self-hatred comes from messages you have fed into your subconscious to this point in your life. And to emotional reactions that you allowed and did no work with. So you now have to observe how you are reacting and deal with it in a logical manner.
I would suggest you start out by reading Eckhart Tolle books. Also by researching how to use cognitive-behavioral psychology (which is what a therapist would be teaching you). Perhaps Vipassana/Mindfulness meditation as a way of learning how to open up to and see what goes on inside yourself . .you cannot work with it until you see it as it happens.